ANG PAGLALAKBAY PATUNGO SA PARAISO

may pasok na bukas!

2006-04-16T23:24:00.000+08:00

May pasok na kami bukas. Hindi ito summer class o kung ano mang vocational course. May pasok na talaga kami, 4^th term na namin. Indi pa ako ganap na sophie. Dahil ang term na nabanggit ay parte talaga ng school year namin. Ika nga ng lola ko, kakaiba ang kalendaryo ng ikswelahan namin.

Ilang linggo na ang nakalipas, wala akong ibang bukambibig kundi “excited na akong pumasok”, “ayoko na dito sa bahay”, “ayoko nang maging professional bum” at kung ano-ano pang litanya na maaring lumabas mula sa bibig ng isang taong walang ibang gianawa kundi umupo sa harapan ng laptop nya, mag-download poreber kahit naka-dial up lang, at magbasa ng magbasa sa araw-araw na ginawa ng Diyos sa buhay niya. Lahat na nga yata ng activities na involve ang mata, nagawa ko na. Pwera na lang siguro ang bumutas ng isang bagay, gaya ng nagagawa ni Cyclops ng x-men. Hehe

Aaaay. Ilang oras na lang may pasok na talaga ako. Hindi ko talaga masabi kung sing excited pa ba ako noong bakasyon. Parang ayoko na hindi. May pasok na kasi…ibig sabihin, kailangan ko nang ikasatuparan lahat ng plano ko…kailangang maka-dos ako na gwa (general weighted average) o mas mataas pa, consistent dapat. Kasama din sa plano ko ang pagpapayat. Kailangang makaipon ako ng malaki para sa big day sa ****. Kailangan ding makasanayan ko na uli ang pag-uwi agad. Graduate muna ako sa dota…nakasaad din sa mga plano ko na kakaririn ko na talaga ang pag-aaral ko. Pero baka mag-job hunting na din ako! Nakow!

Teka, bukas na rin ang araw ng pagpasok ko sa bago kong kurso. May mga tao na naman akong pakikisamahan. Panibagong mga kaibigan (sana)…

Pambihira.

Handa na kaya akong panindigan ang mga pangako’t planong bitiwan ko?

Haaay..sa ngayon, eto ang nasisiguro ko, excited na akong pumunta sa Manila Cathedral bukas. Di ako katoliko at wala rin akong kakatagpuin dun. Pero sa akin na lang kung bakit excited na akong pumunta doon bukas.

halaga

2006-04-16T23:04:00.000+08:00

"Kung minsan, kung alin pa ang pinahahalagahan mo noon, yun pa ang ipinagwawalang-bahala mo ngayon."

Kasalukuyan siyang nag-aayos ng mga files sa kanyang kompyuter. May kalumaan na ito, sinauna kumbaga. Subalit ayaw nyang paltan ‘to. Makailang ulit na syang sinabihan ng kanyang ina na paltan na ito, na bibilhan na lamang siya ng bagong kompyuter ngunit ayaw nya. Bagamat Word at Excell na lamang ata ang matino’t gumaganang mga softwares sa kanyang lumang kompyuter, walang kaso sa kanya iyun. Tutal, Word lang naman ang madalas nyang gamit.

Naputol ang pag-aayos niya ng kanyang mga files sa kompyuter nang ayain na sya ng kanyang ina upang matulog. Silang mag-ina lamang ang nakatira sa bahay. Hiwalay na ang kanyang ina sa kanyang ama, samantala, ang kanyang mga kapatid ay may mga asawa na. Makalipas ang ilang minuto, nag-shut down na sya ng pc.

Malamig ang hanging humahampas sa mga kurtinang nakasabit sa mga bintana. Tila ito ba’y nang-eengganyong lumabas siya. Ngunit imbis na lumabas siya ay nagkasya na lamang sya sa pagsilip sa mga bintana.

"Syet! Ang ganda ng buwan!" sambit niya.

Ngunit ang mapang-enganyong hangi’t buwa’y di naging sapat upang makumbinsi siyang manatiling nakasilip o tunguhin ang terrace.

Inaantok na siya. Tinungo na niya ang kanyang kuwarto. Nang marating na niya ito ay pinaltan na niya ang nakapaskil na “keep out” ng “beware” sa pinto.

Malapit na siya sa kanyang kama nang bigla siyang natisod. Sinipat niya kung ano ang nakatisod sa kanya. Ang CAT shirt pala nya…para tuloy siyang biglang dinala sa memory lane…

…noong nasa hayskul pa sya, ito ang isa sa mga pinaka-importanteng damit niya. Ika nga, madumihan na ang lahat huwag lang ito. Subalit ngayo’y kupas na ang mga letrang naka-print sa t-shirt…marumi na rin ito at pakalat-kalat na lang sa kanyang kuwarto.

Isang mapait na ngiti ang sumilay sa kanyang mga labi. Matutulog na siya. Maaga pa ang pasok niya bukas.

-041406-

nawawala sina rey at basil

2006-04-07T15:06:00.000+08:00

*sighs*

My dad brought all the rey valera and basil valdez’ cds. Haaay…kinikilig pa naman ako tuwing naririnig kong kumakanta si rey valera…sayang, gusto ko pa namang kiligin sa gitna ng init ng araw at pahapyaw na paghampas ng hangin sa aming mga kurtina…

2006-04-07T14:10:00.000+08:00

Nakaka-ilang beses na ako ng sabi sa sarili ko na maliligo na ako. Pero alas dos na ng tanghali, hindi pa rin ako naliligo. Tinatamad pa rin akong kumilos. Animo naka-glue na ang pwet ko sa kama habang halos magkandakuba na ang likod ko kaka-type at kaka-internet…hindi ko tuloy malaman kung boluntaryo ko na nga bang inaaksaya ang oras ko o ano…

Kanina, isang tunog ng text ang gumising sa akin…ang sabi, “hinahanap ka ni tr. gen sa akin…” bigla akong nabuhayan ng loob at pagkatapos ay bumangon agad mula sa aking kama. Dali-dali akong nagmumog at pagkatapos ay binuksan agad ang naka-hibernate kong laptop…sa kasamaang palad, gamit pala ng nanay ko ang telepono kaya hindi muna ako makaka-konek sa internet…sayang, ang sabi pa naman ng nagpaalam sa aking kinakamusta ako ni tr. Gen ay online daw ito at nasa trabaho…

Makalipas ang ilang minuto…sa wakas, ay magagamit ko na ang telepono. Dali-dali akong kumonek sa internet…online nga sya, kaya lang ay hindi naman sya sumagot agad sa im ko…

Chinek ko kung may iba pang online…meron nga, isang nick na hindi pamilyar sa akin…nag-post ako ng ym status na “sa buhay natin, marami tayong gagawin dahil kailangan, hindi dahil gusto natin.” At pagkatapos ay sumagot siya ng “yeah”. Napaisip tuloy akong bigla kung paano o sino ba itong ka-chat ko ngayon. Hayun…napagkilanlan namin ang isa’t isa…nakakatuwa nga dahil ibinahagi pa niya ang tulang gawa nya…sa kasamaang palad, hindi ko ito gaanong naintindihan dahil ang ibang salita ay malalalim na tagalog (gusto kong matuto nun!)…ibinahagi nya sa akin ang address ng blog nya, ganun din ang ginawa ko…

Sa palagay ko, wala pa ako sa kalahati sa pagbabasa ng blog nya…pero may pahayag siya na higit na nakatawag-pansin sa akin…

"Ano kaya ang mas mabigat dalhin sa dibdib, ang magsinungaling sa maraming tao o ang magsinungaling sa sarili?"

Hanggang sa natagpuan ko na lamang ang sarili ko na nagkokomento sa kanyang pahayag…

"Parehong mabigat...pero mas mabigat ang lokohin ang iyong sarili...dahil alam mong nasa katinuan ka, pero hinahayaan mong mangibabaw ang panlolokong ikaw mismo, itanggi mo man, ay hinahayaan mo na lang na lamunin ka..."

2006-04-06T20:47:00.000+08:00

I’m about to make the hardest decision yet…I don’t know how I’m gonna put into words what I’m going through now…the mere thought of the decision-making alone brings me to tears already…

I can’t post it here…not until I’m ready…

Line of the day: “Sa buhay natin, marami tayong gagawin dahil kailangan, hindi dahil gusto natin gawin.” ---Huling yakap sa tag-araw

hear ye! hear ye!

2006-04-06T20:43:00.000+08:00

Wuhoo! I am now a proud sister of a 12-year-old boy, ehem teen, who’s been circumcised today! Ahihi! It wasn’t really planned that he’ll have his circumcision today. Basta naisipan lang ng tatay ko, ayun! Contrary to what I usually see in tv and films, my brother was very quiet during the circumcision…no shouting, no tears at all. Atapang-a-kapatid ko! Wuhoo!!! I really am happy for him. Now that he’s a full pledged man (well, hygienically speaking), I have four simple wishes for him. First, I hope that he’d be a consistent honor list-er. Second, he’d lose weight in time. Well, he’s kinda chubby. Pero okay lang. He’s only 12, but he’s hella taller than me. (hint: 5’5 lang ako, 5’7 na ata sya eh). Third, I hope that he’d be addicted to basketball. At maging tambay sya dahil dun, tipong di ko na sya matagpuan sa bahay dahil sa bball. And last, I don’t want him to impregnate anyone out of wedlock. Or else, mapapatay ko talaga sya!

Paano kung unlimited ang lahat ng bagay sa mundo?

2006-04-04T19:02:00.000+08:00

Paano nga ba kung unlimited ang lahat? Yung tipong everything wouldn’t come with a price…basta sige lang ng sige, kuha lang ng kuha ng anumang magustuhan mo…

…siguro mawawalan na ng kredibilidad si Webster at maghihirap na ang pamilya niya…malamang ang diksyonaryo na ang magiging pinakamanipis pero pinakamabentang libro dahil ang kailangan mo lang kabisaduhin ay ang mga salitang “i” at “want”…tapos bonus words na lang siguro ang we, us at iba pang kaanak ng mga nasabing salita…at malamang, ang “welcome” ay maaring magiging extinct na…di na rin uubra ang bored [board] game na Scrabble o ang laro sa computer na Text Twist dahil di mo na kailangan pang pahirapan ang sarili mo kakaisip ng mga salitang mabubuo gamit ang iba’t ibang letra…dahil ang i, w, a, n, t na lang ang tuluyang mage-exist sa alphabet—combined vowels at consonants na yan ah.

…ang lahat ay magiging English/language proficient na dahil ang mga salitang “i” at “want” naman ay madadaling bigkasin…kahit nga aso kaya yan eh, yun bang gaya nung sa aso sa Ripley’s na kayang magsabi ng hello.

…ang mga salitang us, u, love, we, relationship, give at maging friend o family at iba pang mga kaanak ng mga salitang nabanggit ay tuluyan na sigurong mae-extinct kung forever unlimited tayo…samantala, magiging hall of famer naman ang mga salitang mine, no, we, receive etc…pati na rin ang mga phrases na “don’t want to, not available, etc.” Syempre ang mga salitang “i” at “want” ay may lifetime achievement na.

…ang mga bata nama’y di na mahihirapang magsulat pa ng mahahabang pangalan gaya ng Ma. Regina Jasmin Remedios o Angel Judy Anne o Christian John Mark o kung ano-ano pang mga pangalan ng santo na pinagsama-sama (pun intended). Since i, w, a, n, t na lang ang mage-exist na mga letra sa mundo…Ang proposed [future] name ko ay maaring ganito… ang mga sanggol ay papangalan nang W1 o A34627.67 o kaya nama’y N7 ½ and so forth…makakabuti ang ganitong klase ng pangalan dahil [kahit paano’y] gagaling ang mga bata sa pagsasaulo ng mga numero at pagde-derive ng kanilang mga pangalan mula sa pangalan ng kanilang mga magulang, yan ay kung sakaling makalimutan nila ang name-number-combination nila…

…malalalos na ang mga propesyong Nursing, Engineering at Caregiver [pati DH] dahil ang mga magiging pinaka-pamoso nang propesyon ay ang pagiging Mathematician at Hacker…na ang magiging trabaho ay ang mag-derive at mag-isip ng mga posibleng numero na magiging pangalan ng mga tao…sisiguruhin din nang mga Mathematicians na walang magkakapareho ng mga pangalan…

…pwede rin namang kumuha ng kursong BS Hulatogy major in Hacking…magiging lucrative career ang mga nasabing propesyon. Maari ka ding sumikat sa buong mundo kapag magna/suma cumlaude ka sa nasabing kurso…maha-hack mo na kasi ang kumpanya ni Bill Gates, at kung papalarin ka ay magagawa mo pang pabagsakin ang emperyo niya…

…kung unli ang lahat ng bagay at i, w, a, n, t na lang ang mage-exist na mga letra sa mundo…paano na ang mga letrang g, o, d,…pati na rin mga letrang l, v, e…o kaya ay mga letrang h, k, y, u, c, m,...di na ba mabubuo mga ang salitang thank you, commitment o di kaya’y give dahil mae-extinct na ang mga letrang nabanggit? Ano yun? Kung may Ice Age: the meltdown at The extinction of dinosaurs…magkakaroon din ba ng “Alphabet: the downfall” o di kaya’y “The extinction of the world’s alphabet”? O baka nama’y dumating na ang panahon na hanggang scientific names na lang tayo ng mga letra…halimbawa, sa letrang “e” (dahil extinct na), ang scientific name ay “.24684243”…

…kung magkaganito nga, baka mamaya makapag-derive ang mga future Mathematicians ng mga salitang greed, d i ss a t i sf a c t i o n, no t welcome at iba pang kaanak nito mula sa mga relics ng extinct na dictionaries nina Webster at Thesaurus. Baka mamaya mapaltan na ang pangalan ko sa birth certificate ko…baka imbis na yung given name ko na Greicia Gay ay maging G.214 R.23456 E.6452 E.5689 D.245 Y46 ½ na. Hala! Baka di na ako magka-surname nyan! Baka maging extinct na rin ang surnames dahil magfo-focus ang mga Mathematicians sa paggawa ng mga unique na first names…baka nga naman magka-ubusan di ba? Eh papaano na nga naman ang susunod na henerasyon, di ba?

…kung ang mga letrang i, w, a, n, t na lang ang matitirang mga letra sa mundo…paano na nga ba ang tatlong pinakang importanteng mga letra na g, o, at d? tuluyan na bang di mabubuo ang mga salitang trust, give, thank you o di kaya’y commitment dahil mae-extinct na ang ibang mga letra? *sighs* Di ko lubos maisip kung anong mangyayari kapag di na nabuo pang muli at mga letrang g, o, d, at l, o, v, e etc. Kung hindi mabubuo, nakasisiguro akong tataas ang market value ng chaos, hell at damnation. Tsk.

--032906

Typed and edited: 032106

masaya ako sa naging desisyon ko

2006-04-04T18:46:00.000+08:00

Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. I g n o r e!

Ewan ko ba…hindi ko talaga maintindihan kung bakit napaka-big deal ng pag-shift ko from interior design to BS Psychology (oo na…dahil sayang sa pera, oras atbp. ka-chenesan. Na-credit naman lahat ng tineyk ko ah, maliban syempre sa drawing at physics lec at lab ko). It came out as a real shock especially to my grand parents and relatives. People kept asking me why I shifted…sinasagot ko na lang sila na “para masaya”. My mother even blurted out that I need not to shift anyway because she thinks that I can finish interior design…plus I don’t have any failing grades at all, especially in my drawing class.

Ang nega ng mga tao every time na sasabihin kong nagsa-psych ako. Sasabihin nila na para sa mga baliw lang daw yun, na pang HRD chuchu etc. I know it doesn’t look like it’s one hella lucrative career. Pero alam kong ito ang makakapagpasaya sa akin…aminado naman ako na bago ako pumasok ng kolehiyo, di ko pa sigurado ang course na kukunin ko. Na set ko na kasi sa mind ko na kapag nakapasa ako sa DLSU dati, I’d take up either Marketing chenes or Psychology. But surprise, surprise! I didn’t pass. Nung bumagsak ako sa DLSU, I had no idea what school to go to or what course to take. So I took Mapua’s entrance exam kasi wala lang…I did pass for my first choice sa Mapua na Computer Engineering… True, I like computers. But before the classes started, I asked to be transferred to another program, which is Interior Design (mahabang kwento kung bakit). I thought I could make use of my talent in this program. Pero nang nagtagal…I realized that it’s not just about the talent…or how fit you are to a certain course. Dapat pala…dun ka sa gusto mo, sa makakapagpasaya sa’yo, kung saan alam mong passionate ka, yung pang matagalan…hindi yung sa kung gaano kalaki ang kikitain mo o sa ideya ba na kung makakapag-abroad ka laging nakatingin…dahil kung sa kikitain mo lang ikaw naka-focus at hindi sa ikasasaya mo, ewan ko na lang kung saan ka pupulutin…

2^nd term pa lang, dilemma ko na kung nasa tamang course ba ako. Nung 3^rd term, I shifted to Architecture pero nagkulang ako ng .1 sa grade required para ma-approve ang pag-shift ko (buti na lang!). That’s the time I thought, “hey… Maybe this isn’t really for me. Hindi na ako masaya sa ginagawa ko. Walang-wala na akong gana…I’ve to make a decision now or else...” So there…I decided to take a risk. I shifted to BS Psych in Mapua. A friend suggested that I transfer to Assumption College in Makati kasi maganda daw Psych dun (at saka malapit lang para kahit di na ako mag-boarding house). Pero ayaw ng parents ko…magkakagulo lang daw at mahihirapan ako.

Finally, may direksyon na ang buhay ko. Haha! Halos sabay kaming nagka-direksyon sa buhay ni Siobs. Sabi nga ni Santiago (tama ba?) sa The Alchemist, kapag gusto mo ang isang bagay, nagko-conspire ang universe para sa katuparan nito. True enough, everything did fall into places. Syempre marami pa ring hassle, gaya ng never ending na pagsagot sa mga tanong ng mga taong di makuntento sa sagot na “masaya naman ako sa desisyon ko at sa ginagawa ko.” Nandun din ang never ending na pangangaral at pagtatanong ng mga magulang ko kung sigurado na daw ba ako sa desisyon ko.

Minsan, hindi ko rin maiwasan ang mag-isip o di kaya’y mag-worry…ilang taon na lang, ga-graduate na ako. 3 years lang ang Psych sa Mapua. Malapit na akongh mag 2^nd year…wala sa budget ng parents ko ang pagdo-doctor ko. Pagka-graduate ko pa naman eh saktong magka-college na ang kapatid ko. So paano na yan? Saan ako pupulot ng pera pampaaral sa sarili ko? Ayoko namang umasa pa sa parents ko, o *gulp* maging pabigat [kahit pa obligasyon ng mga magulang na pag-aralin ang kanilang mga anak]…syempre hindi naman ako bulag para hindi makita na napapagod na rin sila at nagkaka-edad na… Hmm…Plan A, mang-hunt-ing ng scholarship abroad na sasagot sa lahat ng expenses ko. Plan B, pumasa at mag-aral sa UP Diliman, maging working student at kung papayag sina ate shane, makikitira ako sa kanila sa Fairview para libre ang pag-tira. Plan C? Wala pa. Basta. Bahala na si Lord. Basta ang gagawin ko na lang sa ngayon, mag-aral ng mabuti at kumuha ng scholarship sa Mapua sa 2^nd year 1^st term. Yan ang goal ko for now.

2006-04-01T20:31:00.000+08:00

I realized today that things doesn’t…rather will never end up the way you exactly want it to be…no matter how bright things may seem…it will always have an end. It’s inevitable.

Line of the day: “Go find your happiness…wherever that’ll take you.”
--From the film Dick Roberts, former child star

2006-04-01T09:47:00.000+08:00

“You are beautiful…

No matter what they say…

Words can’t bring you down…”

--Beautiful by Christina Aguilera

…truth is words can [sometimes] bring you down. Words can either kill you or leave you alive. Words can bruise a heart…and sometimes, it can mend one.

umulan ng cell phone kagabi

2006-03-30T18:25:00.000+08:00

Elementary graduation ng kapatid ko kahapon. Pero di sya mukhang grade six. Paano, mas malaki pa sya sa akin eh! 5”5 ako…5”7 na ata sya o 5”8. Ang description ko nga lagi sa kanya eh monster sya. Ehehe! Naiyak nga ang nanay ko nung patapos na ang grad…masaya daw sya dahil natupad lahat ng dasal nya para sa kapatid ko…ang tumangkad, tumaba, at tumalino. First time kasing umakyat sa stage ng nanay ko dahil sa kapatid kong yun…apat na beses nga syang umakyat eh at kasama dun ang pagtanggap nya ng award ng kapatid ko bilang top 3 sa klase nila. Lupet.

Pagkatapos ng grad, bumili kami ng isang gallon ng ice cream at isang pack ng gardenia wheat bread. Sa bahay nama’y naghihintay na sina manang Linda at yaya Cita dahil nagluto sila ng spaghetti. Yun lang ang handa namin kasi sabi ni moms, may bago namang cp si Jo, yung kapatid ko. Ayun, may 3230 cp sya. Sabi ni moms, kung maganda daw ang grades ko next term, posibleng may I-pod ako. Yibuy!

Pagkatapos kumain nina moms eh pumunta sila ng head office para kumuha ng mga cp. Aba’y pag-uwi nila, may dalang 3230 at N70. Dalawa sana ang N70 nila, tig-isa sila ni popz, aba’y ibinigay na lang sa executive secretary nila yung isa. Pwede namang sa akin na lang? Tapos bibigyan pa ng nanay ko yung paborito kong tiya ng bagong N6680. Hala! Naulan ng mga cp! Tinanog ko nanay ko…sabi ko bakit ang dami nyang cp na bago. Sabi nya, “incentive sa min yun. Syempre masipag kami eh.” (wooo! Yabang ng nanay ko.hihi). Ayun, inio-offer-an ako ng 6680. Kaya lang pag tinanggap ko yun, ibig sabihin kaya nun wala na akong ipod? Sa totoo lang, kuntento naman ako sa cp ko ngayon, walang camera pero may radyo naman. Maganda ang kasalukuyang cp ko kasi malayo sa mata ng mga holdup-er at snatcher at saka konti lang ang kapareho ko ng cp. Ala akong kakambal. Pero…di sa lahat ng oras naulan ng cp noh. Indi rin naman sa lahat ng oras maiisipan ng nanay ko na bilhan ako ng ipod. So ano na nga ba?

Geesh. Sana naman sa susunod, umulan na ng mga apple laptop. Sigurado ako, hindi ako magpapayong!

walking oxygen tank ba si Regine Velasquez?

2006-03-29T17:27:00.000+08:00

Aaminin ko, bilib talaga ako sa boses na meron si Regine Velasquez. Contrary to what other says, na puro sigaw lang daw si Regine…sa tingin ko magaling talaga sya at magagamit nya ng to the highest level ang God-given talent nya…Hindi ko alam kung saan nakukuha ni Regine ang hanging ginagamit nya para makakanta ng mga pamatay na kanta (dahil pag ako na ang bumirit nang mga kanta nya, baka pagtaksilan na ako ng oxygen ko at di na ito bumalik sa katawan ko)…nung minsan, napadpad ako sa isang forum sa isa nyang fan site at may thread na may pamagat na ‘songbird’s highest note’ daw. Syempre binasa ko. Pambihira! Dinugo ako sa pagbabasa! Kulang na lang eh mag-tumbling ako ng patiwarik mula sa kinauupuan ko! Tatlong pahina na ng thread ang nabasa ko pero hindi ko pa rin naintindihan ang mga sinasabi nilang c6, f7 at iba pang ka-chenes-an. Tsk tsk. Wala talaga akong alam sa mga nota-nota chuva.

Ewan ko ba dyan kay Regine Velasquez, di ko alam kung oxygen tank ba sya na nagkatawang tao o talagang may oxygen tank syang nakatago sa katawan. Siguro meron syang compact oxygen tank sya. Teka, kung may compact oxygen tank nga sya, saan naman kaya nya posibleng itinatago? Siguro may storage room sya, tapos kahol lang ng aso nyang si George (tama ba?) ang code para mabuksan ito. Aba'y nang magsabog ng oxygen si Lord sa mundo, hindi man lang nag-payong si Regine! Teka, makanood nga ng SOP sa linggo, baka sakaling ma-spot-an ko kung saan nya itinatago ang tangke nya. Baka kasi compact oxygen yung kanya…aalamin ko kung saan makakabili nun para mabigyan ko yung kaibigan kong ganid sa hika, malala kasi hika nun eh.

Teka…mukhang hindi pa naman magre-retire si Regine dahil wala pang ichini-chika sina Kris o Boy o Pia Guanio na ganun. Mukha naman syang mabait dahil nakanood ako ng Mel and Joey noon kung saan ay nag-auction sya ng 30 designer gowns nya (di ba sikat mga designers nya? Sina Ino Sotto, Pepsi Herrera atbp di ba?) para sa mga cancer patients na bata (lahat ng proceeds ay mapupunta sa mga cancer patients). Sabi nya, lahat ng gowns na ini-auction nya ay may sentimental value dahil yung iba ay sinuot nya sa mga sold out concerts at pati na rin daw sa asian contest na sinalihan nyo noon (sya ang grand winner nun). Hindi ako mahilig sa mga gown...pero sabihin na nating kunwari ay may isa akong Acer Ferrari laptop, 2 Apple laptop, 3 Ipod, isang XDA IIs, isang N90 at kung anu-ano pang mga gadgets, nako! Kailangan ko siguro ng buong linggo para matanggap na io-auction ang mga gadgets ko for a good cause…kakailanganin ko din siguro ng isang buwan para matanggap ang katotohanang wala na ang mga gadgets ko, sakaling sold out ang mga ito sa auction ko. Kakailanganin ko din ng isang gallon ng ice cream at isang pack ng gardenia wheat bread para pang alo man lang sa akin. Hmm…kung balak nang mag-retire ni Regine at sakaling maisip nyang gusto nyang tumulong sa kapwa ng walang kapalit, pwede syang mag-volunteer sa PGH (alam nating magagaling mga doctor dito pero kulang ang ospital sa mga kagamitan). Sa tingin ko, sapat na sya para mag-supply ng oxygen para sa [buong ospital] sa lahat ng mga pasyente.

Tingnan mo nga naman o, ang haba na pala ng nasulat ko…samantalang ang gusto ko lang namang sabihin eh maraming hangin sa katawan si Regine at makakatulong sya sa mga mahihirap na pasyenteng kailangan ang oxygen.

nabigla ako!

2006-03-27T12:22:00.000+08:00

I was channel surfing again, and chanced on boy abunda's homeboy a while ago…there’s this guy who went through sex transplant and body enhancements. Graabe! They showed his pictures then…and now…ay graabe talaga! Ang ganda nya na ngayon! Napa-tumbling ako eh! Iba na talaga nagagawa ng medisina ngayon…puro thank you dok. Geeesh. Baka naman pag henerasyon na ng mga magiging anak ko…ang magiging sitwasyon na eh, “uy, palit tayo ng ari!” (pun intended). Ayoko naman ng ganyan…God designed us beautifully. There’s no need to go through sex transplant at kung ano-ano pang ka-chenesan. You ought to learn to love yourself for who and what you are noh.

2006-03-04T01:31:00.000+08:00

i've found a new home!!!

go to...

http://ghreay.deviantart.com

2006-02-03T17:59:00.000+08:00

one month!and i havent written anything yet!geeesh, busy...busy...

Christmas [material] wishlist

2005-12-27T16:06:00.000+08:00

1) united – look to you (pati na rin dating, dating, dating cd’s pa)

2) more gospel cd’s!

3) greyhoundz’ apoy (not another angsty music)

4) urbandub’s influence

5) new wave cd’s…

6) classics cd’s…

7) any cd that has 80’s songs…

8) mishka adams’ God bless the child (silly me, I forgot who I lent it to)

9) regine velasquez’ covers II and Songbird sings the classic – I know it’s so not me... What can I do? I heard she’s gonna sing 80’s songs in covers II…now that’s cool!

10) LOTR vcd’s or dvd’s (I think I’m the only person in earth who hasn’t seen LOTR 2& 3—looser!)

11) Rod Stewart’s latest cd (greatest hits thingy…)

12) More instrumental cd’s!

13) More books to read! (paki-soli na ng mga books ko please!)

14) External hard disk (10 gig will do)

15) Ram upgrade for my laptop (1 or 2 gig…bilis nun!)

16) Ipod U2 version (latest gen.)

17) A car (altis or vios…or better yet, CR-V…coolness!)

18) 1 gig mem card for my digi cam

19) starbucks planner (which I’ll soon have…my *bux 2005 planner ended up in my “tambakan”)

20) World peace - don’t wanna sound miss pageant-ish, but it’s obviously what we need. No further explanation needed.

21) A backpack laptop bag (from samsonite)

22) Lifetime supply of “peppermint bark chocolate” (babaw!)

23) And last, photography books (why are they so costly!? Ugh!)

whoops! cd’s…cd’s…and more cd’s…

dang!

2005-12-27T15:55:00.000+08:00

I think I’m becoming a professional bum…and [I think] I’m getting good at it. Wish I could do more productive stuff but I can’t really think of anything to do…draw/write/come up with floor plans I guess? It’s just that this “katam” is creeping up on me and I can’t stop it! Ugh! Most of my time was spent in front of my laptop, surfing the net to death! I wanna go to school na, have my weekly allowance and play warcraft dota (why was it called that way, anyway?) even if it means I’ve to play it alone.

2005-12-03T13:07:00.000+08:00

I'm pretty messed up.

reaching for the star...

2005-12-03T12:00:00.000+08:00

"You know you want to get that star you see every night. You promised to yourself that someday you would walk through the invisible bridge to the moon, and then take the star home. That someday came. Armed with a spaceship, you flew to the moon. You took some rest and then finally decided to walk on the golden stairs...the star is getting closer to you...closer...closer...closer...one more step, and you're almost there. Just when you're about to take that last step, you fell. Then you finally realize it was the end of a supposed-to-be beautiful beginning."

18th-ness

2005-11-27T22:48:00.001+08:00

Graaabe! We had suuper fun last night…’twas my 18th b-day post celeb…kinda get together. It was really, really great. Majority of the most important people in my life went last night although some didn’t made it (ope you guys did) cos they had classes pa…but it was fulfilling to see the people who made an impact in my life or influenced me somehow…

Special thanks to:
- my mapuan friends who made the night crazily splendid…paulo, mario, kim, pey, nanz, jc, pabear…thanks guys
- my best friend, Abba, for sponsoring the balloons and hosting my “18 budoinks”
- my other best friend, Mel, for the video coverage (whoops! I know it was chaotic)
- to my best buds, Dai and Mog…
- to my sisters in Christ, Annie (thanks for giving ‘em a ride), Shayne, Jes and Neris
- to Tr. Mildred and Alvin who wanted to go but couldn’t, thanks pa rin…
- to my “badi’s” dhrei and renjol and marvz and ikay, you guys owe me
- to rest of my kada who greeted me but weren’t able come…karen, joy, ki, gel (you guys

owe me too)
- to siobe and to Jena who could’ve been here last night
- to manang linda, yaya cita, and the rest of the security guards who helped my dad to come

up with a wonderful party
- and of course, to my parents who made the get together possible…who loves me…and

who’s always been supportive to me...

- and lastly, to God. None of these would’ve happened if it weren’t cos Him

argh!

2005-11-18T22:58:00.000+08:00

I really don't know why my link isn't working...anyhoo, if you wanna read the entire story about the "isyung istarbaks"...this is the link:

http://nilipon-ng-panahon.blogspot.com

enjoy reading!

2005-11-18T22:29:00.000+08:00

Isyung istarbaks:
ang resibo at mautak na tiyan sa likod ng kopi dyeli at oreo tsikeyk

by: gay r. ayad

**ang kwento ay base sa sariling karanasan ng may akda

when it's meant to be, it really is meant to be

2005-11-17T19:50:00.000+08:00

>> had lunch at starbucks (labo!)…saw there’s coffe jelly light pala…I’m gonna try that! But what’s the difference between the light and the ‘normal’ coffee jelly? Less caffeine I guess? Whatever! I’d still try it…next on the line is the peppermint thingy…

>> was teary eyed cos there wasn’t ‘ny taxi this morning (babaw!)…had to ride the jeepney cos I was reaaally running late…missed my consti class cos I had to do my plate. 'Twas supposed to be finished last night but I fell asleep…good thing, God woke me up at around 5 pm…but I still ran out of time…arrived in school around 910 am…was heck-ness late for my English class…had to look for my drawing prof cos I promised him that’d I’d pass my plate in the morning…he told me they’d have a meeting in the afternoon…unfortunately, his afternoon is before 9am lol...cos I saw him at SW401…I even asked for him…too late to realize that he’s already attending the meeting that he told me yesterday…didn’t notice it lol

>> was shocked to see ate sally velasco going to rob's place...i pretty ran to her. hehe nagkwentuhan kami...she asked me how's ate...dami nya ding kinwento bout sa mga students nyang koreano...

>> I saw this supah pretty woman…I think she’s in her early 30’s na…from head to toe, ibang klase talaga…she’s pretty and slim…pretty amazing for her age…d best din ang hair nya…I was even tempted to ask her if she had hairspa or of any sort hehe…and if I knew how to draw humans, I would have drawn her in minutes. That’s how pretty she is…sorry…can’t help but admire her beauty…

>> studied for my Filipino class at starbux awhile ago…ang ingay at ang gugulo ng mga katabi ko! When they left, I said “haaay salamat”…tapos the lady beside me heard me…ayun! She asked me where I study, what I’m studying, my name…at kung ano-ano pa…hanggang sa napansin ko na lang na di na pala ako nag-aaral at nakikipagkwentuhan na lang ako sa kanya…she told me stuff…like about her best friend, boy friend, parents, death of her dad, gimiks etc…she even told me that she wants to be an interior designer…but her parents asked her to take up education instead…she didn’t follow what they told her to…she took up fashion design cos it’s the closest course to her passion…she told me na she really likes designing, kahit ano…pero ang passion nya ay maging interior designer talaga…ayun! I told her about Philippine School of Interior Design in Makati…na may short courses dun para maging interior design consultant…good thing, I knew psid…wehehe at eto pa, papunta pala talaga sya ng Makati! We barely know each other… Can you imagine that? Pero God used me to lead her to psid…He must’ve used me in leading her to fulfilling her dreams and following her passion…and boy, I’m glad I took part in it…simple circumstances can change ones lives talaga…you’ll never really know how much people you can influence simply because you allowed God to use you… *smiles*

>> to ate ruth, if ever you chance on this entry, God bless you in fulfilling your dreams…follow your passion…magiging masaya ka, don’t worry. = ) it was great meeting you…I ope we’d meet at starbucks again.

…one thing I realized though, ang kapal na pala ng mukha ko este nagiging people person na nga pala talaga ako…ewan, kahit nga sino ipakausap mo sa akin ok lang eh…keh taxi driver pa yan o janitor…makakakwentuhan ko…hihihi

eddie guerrero is dead

2005-11-15T19:39:00.000+08:00

i'm saddened by his death...di talaga ako makapaniwala...huhu i watch wrestling pa naman lagi noon...sayang talaga sya... ='(

a day of loss and gain

2005-11-13T19:49:00.000+08:00

** I lost my cell phone…ang stupid tsk tsk...

** It’s my best friend’s birthday today! Wuhoooo! Haberday memhel!!!

** Had a date with my best friend, hehe. I always call it a date whenever there’d only be the two of us (ex. me and a friend or me and a friend of a friend)…had fun catching up…the last time we met was last September pa…that was long…when we were talking, it was like nothing has really changed…walang hiyaan ba…

** Sighs. I asked Him of a new camera not a cell phone…then why did He let me lose it?

** May intercom na kami…hihi tuwang-tuwa youngest bro ko…he’s only 7… (bakit ngayon lang yan naisip ng mga magulang ko? Hmmm…)

2005-11-13T01:20:00.000+08:00

“animo ikaw ay nasa pangarap mong paraiso na walang mga bulaklak…”

Minsan gusto ko na lang pumunta sa isang lugar na ako lang ang nakakaalam…tapos ang kasama ko eh ang bibliya at laptop ko lang…pero sa ngayon? Ano kamo ang hiding place ko? Walang iba kundi sa starbucks ng rob’s place…doon nagagawa kong magmasid ng iba’t ibang klase ng tao na siya namang kinagigiliwan ko…sari-saring tao ang masasaksihan mo sa loob ng kopi shap na iyun…may mga yuppies, mga young professionals ba…may mga atchay killers (scenario: foreigner na sobrang smitten sa isang Filipina)…mga Paulinian na madalas iisa lang ang english word sa isang tagalong sentence (hal. “eh yun na nga, he saw me from afar…tpos…” >>labo..di akma hehe)…mga matatandang mag-asawa (sweeet!) na pumunta lang talaga dun para mag-kape…mga thomasians na nursing students ata na hindi yata alam kung ano ang lugar na napasukan dahil hindi marunong na hinaan ang boses…mga kano…mga japayuki…mga taong di ko na ma-determine kung babae ba o lalaki talaga…mga koreano at kung sino-sino pang asyano na singkit…may mga negro din…at syempre may mga ordinaryong mamamayan na gaya ko…ewan ko ba…hindi ko alam kung anong magnet meron ang starbucks sa akin…halos lahat yata ng kopi shap na makikita ko o nakita ko na, sinusubukan ko nang hanggat maari ay isang beses pero lagi akong bumabagsak sa starbucks (adik nga siguro ako)…marahil ay siguro nasanay na ako sa ambiance na mayroon ang starbucks, napaka-homey ba…para sa akin yan ah…starbucks ang hiding place ko…dito ako nakikipagtalastasan sa Kanya…dito ko inilalabas at minsan ay iniiyak ang mga sama ng loob ko, frustrations, pangamba at kung ano-ano pa…dito ko rin nagagawang sumulat ng mga kanta at makapag-aral sa consti…sa gitna ng ingay at dami ng tao sa starbucks, nagagawa kong ilabas ang sarili ko gamit ang panulat at papel ko…pakiramdam ko napaka-payapa ng mundo ko kapag nasa loob ako ng kopi shap…kahit pa sabihing salamin lang naman o dingding o pinto ang naghihiwalay sa akin sa labas…masaya ako sa tuwing naroon ako, mag-isang nakaupo, nagmumuni-muni, nagdarasal at bumubuo ng mga pangarap…at nagsusulat...ilang buwan pa lang akong umiistambay sa starbucks…sa palagay ko, sa pagtagal ng panahon ay kasama siyang maiisulat sa aking istorya ng buhay…hindi ba’t naging piping saksi ang kopi shap na starbucks sa sandamakmak na istorya ng buhay ng mga taong labas-masok doon?

**note: yup, I did generalize…no offense meant…these are purely my opinions…okish.

kung pagapalain ako ng mahabang oras, nais sanang isama ng may akda si toshi (notebook ko) papuntang starbucks...doon namin pagsasaluhan ang kaaya-ayang tanawin ng iba't-ibang klase ng mga tao...nais rin ng may akda na makaguhit, makapagsulat o makapag-kompayl ng sari-saring kwento na batay sa mga karanasan niya sa starbucks...

i'm confused

2005-11-10T18:23:00.000+08:00

I saw 'something' este 'someone'. She’s pretty and tall. She looks every inch like a woman. Now what’s the big deal eh? I’m confused! I dunno if she’s a he…or is he a she? Methinks most of the homo’s now are more confident in exposing their selves… no prejudice meant to the gay and lesbian people ha…sometimes, I’m having a hard time determining if the person I saw is a guy or a girl…

**is she a he? Is he a she? Aaah! Ano nga ba? Labo!**

2005-11-06T21:25:00.000+08:00

--- My parents came up with a new past time…videoke! Oh my gosh! Nabibingi talaga ako!

--- Ooooh, I love listening to orange and lemons (check them out)…they’re so cool! Love the voice of their lead vocalist! I’m diggin indi opm bands too…hehe

--- I also like listening to 107.5 nu rock and 98.7 (it plays Christian songs everyday from 10 pm-12 midnight)…or sometimes to 88.3 and 97.9 (pampatulog)…now I’m wishing there’s a radio station that plays all kinds of music, as in may jazz, new wave, 70’s, 80's, early 90's at kung ano-ano pa…

--- I love the rain (but hate its after effect…yup, the filthy flood of manila)

--- Masarap mag nail cut sa ilalim ng ulan…I found that out yesterday. My friends, Faye, Jonah, and JC ate at Mapua’s KFC (which stands for footlong-an, canton-an…I don’t know what K stands for)

--- My dad bought me a drafting board na! Wuhoo! Say goodbye to bulky and heavy drawing board, hehe

--- I went to Makati yesterday. Oh, boy, it changed a lot. We go to Glorietta most of the time to have lunch, that’s Sundays after school (you heard me right…we have class every Sunday). I mean we frequent to Makati then, way back in grade school…tapos most of the time kasi, sa atc (ayala mall din) or festival mall na lang kami nung high school ako…graabe, I love the new Makati na…high rise buildings, sophisticated stores etc, diff. races of people…I wanna live and work there hehe

--- We have burglars in our house: my mom and dad, my 2 younger bros, my 2-year-old inaanak, and my mom’s personal secretary…grrrrr, they ate my lay’s barbecue in secret!!!

--- gusto ko nang lumipat ng bahay! Hmm…sa La Marea pwede na…ah basta, somewhere else. I don’t like our subdivision, it’s so noisy na.

--- gotta study na for our midterm in Filipino tom

--- I noticed I use the word “na” most of the time, even in text messages

--- I wonder what it’s like to be a foreigner in your own land…I have this classmate in NSTP class who’s half-iranian and half-filipina…she has a Filipino citizenship that’s why she’s required to take up Filipino classes…now that’ll be hard for her. She doesn’t know how to speak in Tagalog…tsk tsk

--- tinatamad akong gumawa ng movie review

--- It's kind of Regine Velasquez to have her gowns auctioned for the Kapuso's charity (something like that)...those are designer gowns so I'm sure they're very costly

--- Something dreadful happened last Friday...nilabhan ng yaya ko yung pink chux (chuck taylor shoes) ko!!! Huhu! Eh i want my chux na madumi na talaga...sabi kasi ni yaya, "ay kawawa naman alaga ko...ang dumi-dumi na ng sapatos...hindi na siguro naalala na ipalabha kay manang linda". Huhuhu she didn't even asked for my permission. Huhuhu ang linis tuloy ng chux ko

--- By faith, someone will bless me a new Canon Ixus 55

--- Yeah! Midterm na! Next year, panibagong term na (Jan. 2 to be exact)…meaning makaka-attend na ako ng YOF…makakatambay na din ako sa YOF org…makakasali na din ako sa ibang org…pero kahit naman di ako pinapa-attend ngayon ok lang ako (isang buong term yun—2 ½ months)…chillax kami ni God.

bentekwatro oras

2005-11-06T19:08:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I would just wish that time would be longer…that there would actually be 28 hours or more in a day just so I can squeeze in everything that I need to do…like if I have 3 plates to do that is due the next meeting, or if I have to study for my constitution subject (which means hours of memorizing), or write everything that’s in my mind for hours in my laptop…I wish it was like that…but reality check, God only gave us 24 hours a day…I often wonder why…but then I would always find myself answering my very own questions…come to think of it, if we have longer hours in a day, tendency is we would be preoccupied with a lot of things, and when I say “a lot”, I’m sure, really “a lot”…I can attest that…then it might only mean we might not have time for Him anymore…if we have longer hours, we will have more reason to be busy, even too busy to actually spend ‘some’ time with Him… but I’m glad He made our day this way—just 24 hours…cos if He didn’t, would I even be able to witness just how faithful He is? How he’d marvelously squeeze in my time whenever I needed it, or find a taxi even on an ungodly hour? I’m better off this way…24 hours is okay with me now…it’s no longer a reason for me to be busy and not actually have my quiet time…but it now gives me more “time” to witness just how faithful He [can and] really is…and I thank Him for that…

astig!

2005-11-04T22:33:00.000+08:00

Hehe. Minsan ok talagang maging "basurera". Weh! Nahanap ko na yung ibang stories na ginawa ko! yeahmoy!

paano kung...

2005-11-04T15:39:00.001+08:00

Tayo sa pangarap

Halos isang buwan ka nang hindi pumapasok. Minsan tuloy naiisip ko, kasalanan ko nga ba ang lahat?

Nahuli kasi tayo ng iyong ina na magkasama papunta sa klasrum mo. Pare-pareho tayong nagulat sa isa’t-isa. Ikaw, nagulat dahil nakita mong nasa loob ng kolehiyo mo ang iyong ina. Ako, dahil alam kong ayaw na nakikita ng ina mo o ng pamilya mo na magkasama tayo. At ang iyong ina, dahil ang paniwala nya ay yung isa nating malapit na kaibigan ang palagi mong kasama.

Wala naman talagang may gusto na magkasama tayo. Binibiro mo pa nga ako eh, na kapag nakita ako ng kuya mo at ng matalik na kaibigan nito ay baka ipa-hunting o ipapatay ako nun. Bantay sarado ka nga ng pamilya mo eh, lagi kang hatid sundo. Kung minsan, kailangan pa nating kuntsabahin yung isa nating kaibigan para pagtakpan tayo.

Naalala ko tuloy nung una tayong nagkakilala. Unang impresyon ko nga sa’yo ay wirdo ka, sobrang out of this world kasi ang mga ideya mo. Isip-bata ka rin at pareho tayong mahilig sa snickers. Baduy ka dahil mahilig kang maglaro ng Ragnarok. Pero kumportable ako pag kasama kita. Masaya nga tayo kahit madalas tayong dalawa lang lagi ang magkasama. Animo wala tayong pakialam sa mundo kahit pa sabihing may mga kilay na nagtataasan kapag nakikita tayong dalawa na magkasama.

Hindi nagtagal nahulog ang loob ko sayo. Ikaw ay ganoon din. Pero tinapat mo naman ako noong una pa lamang, huwag akong umasang may kapalit ang inuukol kong pag ibig para sa yo. Ang sabi ko, ayos lang, handa naman akong maghintay. Lumipas ang mga buwan na nakuntento akong magkaibigan lang tayo. Nakakatawa nga eh, minsan ay napapagkamalan na “tayo” dahil ang sweet daw natin sa isa’t-isa, palagi pa tayong magkasama, at may mga bulung-bulungan din na may namamagitan na daw sa ating dalawa. Hindi ko pinansin iyun. Ikaw din, hindi. Ang lagi mo na lang sinasabi, “bahala sila kung anong gusto nilang isipin. Ang importante, alam natin ang totoo. Tayo nga ba?” Sabay hahagikhik ka at tutuksuhin mo ako.

Magkaibigan nga lang ba tayo? Pero bakit pakiramdam ko higit pa dun? Hindi ba’t nagsasabihan pa nga tayo ng “wala lang” kahit sa harap ng ibang tao? Na ang totoong ibig sabihin ay “I love you”. Nalilito na ako, hindi ko na tuloy alam kung mahal mo ako bilang kaibigan lang o mahal mo ako dahil sa mas higit na dahilan pa. Pero hindi ko kinwestyon kailanman ang pagmamahal na ibinibigay mo sa akin. Tama na sa akin ‘to…yung tipong alam ko na ispesyal ako sa’yo at may lugar ako dyan sa puso mo.

Mahal, halos isang buwan na kitang di nakikita…May mga araw na hinihiling ko na sana nasa tabi lang kita gaya ng dati, walang kamatayan na kwentuhan at tawanan, mga araw na nagsasabihan tayo ng wala lang, mga di natin pag attend sa klase, mga maliligayang araw natin. Oo na, alam kong sasabihin mo na ang corny-corny ko dahil ang mushy ko. Nagiging ganito lang naman ako dahil sa’yo eh.

Mahal na mahal kita. Alam kong alam mo iyan. Pero pakiramdam ko kasalanan ko kung bakit bigla kang naglaho na parang bula…kung bakit nagkakagulo kayo ng pamilya mo…

Naalala mo pa ba noong huli tayong nagkausap at nagkaaama, umiiyak ako noon. Sabi mo dapat tumahan na ako. Pero hindi ko magawa…alam ko kasi na ang ibig sabihn nun ay malaki ang posibilidad na hindi na tayo magkausap at magkita, alam kong gagawa ng maraming paraan ang iyong pamilya para mailayo ka sa akin. Sino ba nga naman kasi ang aapruba sa relasyon natin? Pareho kasi tayong babae.

Sa ngayon, hahayaan ko na lang na makuntento ang sarili ko sa pag-alala ng ating nakaraan…ng ating masasayang araw, kasama na rin siguro yung mga malulungkot. Mananatili na nga lang siguro na tayo sa pangarap. Ayos lang, walang kaso sa akin yun. Basta’t mahal natin ang isat isa, tama na iyon.

110405
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note: this is a non-fic story...nangyari ito sa dalawa kong kaibigan. im not just sure kung accurate ang pagkakasulat ko...na-exag ko yata...will post more about this later...

...ewan ko

2005-11-02T22:34:00.000+08:00

May mga bagay talaga na sadyang wala na sa control mo…nitong mga nakaraang araw, lagi ko na lamang natatagpuan ang sarili ko na kinakapos sa oras…laging parang walang natatapos…ang daming hang ups…aywan kung ano na ang nangyayari sa akin…I’m falling apart…but not spiritually…I just…ewan…hindi ko alam kung pano ko ie-explain ang nangyayari sa akin…

“Hindi ko alam kung bakit Mo hinahayaang mangyari ito sa akin ngayon…pero kung ano man ang dahilan Mo, sana maintindihan ko pagdating ng panahon…”

whew!

2005-11-02T14:55:00.000+08:00

Oh! Good thing my friend still has some of my write ups!!! Yeah! You might be wondering why...here's a short explanation why I'm soo happy

excerpt from a friend's blog

2005-11-02T13:50:00.000+08:00

"Pero alam nyo kung anung natutunan ko…ang buhay nga naman ay parang siopao…kapag nakita mo sa labas…para bang napakaraming laman…masagana…pero ang di mo alam ay sa kaloob-looban nito ay puros pagpapanggap lang... walang laman halos…puros hangin, puros pagpapangap. Akala mong masarap…pero sa paglaon ay mapapansin mo na nais mo na lang iluwa ito dahil sa mabilasang lasa nito..."

read more <here>

libre ang mangarap

2005-10-30T13:37:00.000+08:00

A friend once told me, “masyado kang mataas mangarap.” I told him, “why not? Libre naman yun. And besides I’ve faith that they'd come true, someday, somehow, I know they will…I have faith in Him noh…”

Sino ba nga naman ang hindi magsasabi na masyado akong mataas mangarap? I want to be an architect, a photographer (only few knows that I have a heart for it), [somehow] a painter, a missionary, a social worker (I will have my own orphanages and schools), a writer (most probably for independent films), and even a college instructor and a public speaker. I would often tell my friends that after college, I’d work here in the Philippines for a short period of time and then I would leave for France or for any country in Europe. Or I might study in Australia. Aaah, all these I wanna achieve.

I wanna make a difference. I wanna make an impact in others’ lives. I wanna inspire them to live their lives better…I really do…

But you know what, I actually m not afraid if any of these dreams won’t come true…I know…that whatever happens, these dreams would come to reality…it may not happen in the exact way that I want them to be, but somehow they will. Ah basta…I believe in the beauty of my dreams. And I believe in its reality. And besides, there is nothing impossible with God. I put my faith in Him = )

---------------------------

Singit lang ::: Freddie Prinze is so cute hehe

random thoughts

2005-10-27T22:16:00.000+08:00

--God really is faithful

--Manila cathedral is soo beautiful

--Mytch and I talked…I think that’s yesterday…God interpreted her dream through me, and then she prophesied to me…that God is well-pleased with me…that if I’m already amazed with what’s happening? Aaaw, it’s just the start daw…wait til He does more amazing things… >> whoa! Now that’s encouraging! Uhuh, God gave me the ability to interpret dreams...but it is not directly I who interprets, but Him...I'm just His instrument.

--Haven’t had any sleep since yesterday…that’s 26 hours and still counting…I gotta finish my plate na talaga…I like doing floor and roof plan, elevations, sectioning than perspective…oh man! Perspective sucks. **sighs**

--I wanna go to tagaytay highlands again…chill…relax… savor the beauty of taal and tagaytay…

--I miss my mamabear…where art thou?

--It’s my 18^th birthday na next month, nov. 23 to be exact…wala lang

--I wanna watch a concert…

--Haaaay…AJ, ate shane, kuya, tita emy…I wanna visit you guys...miss you!

--I wanna learn "realism" (drawing) and "painting"...I also wanna shoot still life photos...and oh, nature too!

--I wanna watch “the phantom of the opera" na

--Haay…I regret wasting my time yesterday…I should’ve studied for my consti…I could’ve gotten a higher score although I’m sure that I’d pass the test ='(

--Pinoy big brother is silly yet hilarious

--I was soaking wet when I got home…twas raining hard outside

--I like studying constitution at starbucks, rob’s place…and did I say I so, so love their frappucino coffee jelly and oreo cheesecake? hihi

--I miss writing short stories and poems...and songs too --I wanna buy a camera na…but still saving up for it

--Man, there are so many I’s in my thoughts…I actually wanna have an ipod photo and a xda IIs…and a backpack bag (redundant na ba) for my laptop

--I prefer watching indipendent/digital films than cinematic (did I use the right term?) films

--I miss my high school friends and high school teachers…lalo na yung mga indi na nagpaparamdam…aaw i miss mah yof family too

--And lastly, I wanna sleep na…as in rest talaga…but I just can’t cos I’ve tons of things to do.

>>I'm looking forward to GMA's nonworking holidays...gusto ko na talagang matulog.

argh!

2005-10-27T21:12:00.000+08:00

Grrr! I lost my supposed-to-be-blog entry...now i have to write it again. asar.

i'll never forget...

2005-10-26T13:33:00.000+08:00

It was scorching hot outside so I decided to ride a taxi for Rob’s place…I was…I was really unmindful of my surroundings…and then a kid at age two, I guess, caught my attention…he was there…he just sat there, playing with his plastic spoon and cup, pretending that there’s food on it…what struck me most is that he was left alone by his parents in a wooden crib, just beside the road. I couldn’t help but pity that kid…I was literally in tears while staring at him…I thought, that is not the kind of life that he deserves…he deserves a life more than that…he deserves to be fed, to be educated…and to live in a decent place, not in the road.

I really have a heart for the street children…I told myself, I’m not just gonna study hard to get good grades or because I wanna please my parents…I’m gonna study hard…study with passion…until I reach the point that excellence is no longer what I’m thriving for, but excellence would be my standard. These people…these very people who live in the streets, they would always serve as an inspiration to me in fulfilling my dreams. I will build houses for them…a decent place where they can live and enjoy their days and nights with their family…a place they can really call ‘home’…

I will never forget that scene in my entire life…it will always remind me to strive hard…and to be the best that I can be…to actually be the best kind of person that God wants me to be.

niyanig nya ang mundo ko

2005-10-23T22:52:00.000+08:00

You were there…walking in --------…just you…you’ve made up your mind to study constitution in ------…you’re walking…you’re thinking of buying a new top in Kamiseta as a treat for yourself after studying in consti…and then you saw a familiar face that belonged to the past…

(I’m sorry, but I can’t tell what happened next…--- might chance on reading this)

Just as what it’s like in chinovelas or so-so, the moment I saw ---, I couldn’t believe it myself. I was like, “oh my gosh! Is that ---? Did I really see ---? Buhay pa pala sya?” You see, --- used to be a close friend of mine…we would often talk on the phone or text each other…we’re comfortable with each other. Even after --- left for college, we tried to still keep in touch…we were like that before…I don’t know happened…we just found ourselves barely texting/calling/checking up on each other…I felt like as months pass by, I’m beginning to lose ---…a friend…

You might not understand me…basta, ang alam ko, the moment I saw ---, literal na naligalig ang mundo ko. --- belong to the past…it’s like nung nakita mo sya, bigla kang kinonfront ng past mo…so there…I just shared it. Anyway, that’s past…it’s definitely one history!

from a giver to an encourager

2005-10-23T16:40:00.000+08:00

Awhile ago, my dad asked me, “what do you want for your birthday?” I was caught off guard. It would have been easy to say that, “pops, I want this, I want that, blah blah blah, can I have some money?” I just shrugged my shoulder…and thought for a while, what do I really want for my birthday? A new bag for my laptop (ang babaw ko noh)? Money for shopping? A U2 version of Ipod? A pda phone? Honestly, I don’t want anything for my birthday…I am happy with what I have right now. I have God. I have my family, both biological and spiritual. Plus I also have friends whom I can rely on.

You now, there’s really not much to ask, but so much to give…there are kids on the street that you see everyday, admit it…there are beggars…poor people who only want to live a life that will assure them of at least 3 meals a day and an education for their children…well, talk about giving…you really need not to give them money and food or even shelter (although it is obvious that they need it)…a simple prayer will do…or a simple encouragement for them like talking to them, not minding your status in life…mere “hello’s and musta’s” will do…they’d appreciate it…poor people (financially and figuratively speaking) are the people who needs more of a listener and a person who genuinely cares for them…*smiles* a simple encouragement is far of better worth than any material thing or tastiest food in the earth, don’t you think so? Encouragement doesn’t just feed their soul...it feeds their heart…it feeds they’re very being.

= )

...zzzzzzzzz

2005-10-15T00:07:00.000+08:00

i'm sleepy...

tonight, i shall write in tagalog...

2005-10-14T23:37:00.000+08:00

Ang daming nangyari…kakatapos lang ng 1^st term…ilang araw din kaming walang pasok…nakakatawa nga eh, habang nag-aaral para sa finals ang mga kaibigan ko, kami namang mga Mapuan eh nage-enrol na at naghahanda na para sa susunod na term…

Magi-ilang buwan pa lang akong nag-aaral sa Mapua…masaya na mahirap…kumbaga, noong high school, natuklasan at naranasan ko ang ibig sabihin ng “masaya na mahirap sa CAT”…ngayon, sa kolehiyo, unti-unti ko nang natutuklasan ang sinasabi nilang “masaya na mahirap pag nasa kolehiyo ka na”…masaya naman ako…nandun yung nagkaron ako ng madaming kaibigan…naroon din yung naranasan kong kumain kung saan-saan…dahil nga sa kolehiyo, natuto na akong kumain sa mga turo-turo…nakakatawa, malaki na nga ang ipinag-iba ko ngayon…siguro kung pagtatabihin ko ang ‘ako noon’ at ang ‘ako ngayon’, baka hindi na nila makilala ang isa’t-isa…haha.

Haaay, heto’t kasisimula lang ng 2^nd term noong nakaraang lingo…tapos sa susunod na lingo panahon na naman ng mga quizzes…hanggang sa di mo namamalayan, matatapos na pala ang 2^nd term…panibagong simula na naman…panibagong pakikitungo na naman sa iba-ibang tao…teka, bakit ba yan na ang pinag-uusapan natin? Ay, pambihira…

Kanina, halos maiyak na ako dahil sa inis at pagka-desperado…hindi ko na kasi alam ang gagawin ko sa plate ko…naiinis ako dahil madali lang naman iyun kung tutuusin…pero bakit hindi ko magawa? Walang konsentrasyon? Aywan kung ganoon nga. Desidido naman akong tapusin ang plate ko….pero siguro nga, may mga bagay na hindi ko na nalalaman na pumipigil sa akin…pero okay lang, nung klase na, ipinagpatuloy ko ang paggawa ng plate ko…naipasa ko naman ang ito…at natapos ko din iyon…haay, tapos kanina binisita kaming mga interior design studs ng mga kaklase ko noong 1^st term na archi ang kinukuha…inggit na inggit ako sa kanila…gumagawa na sila ng floor plan…nae-enjoy nila ang ginawa nila…noong 1^st term gumawa na rin kami ng floor plan, aywan kung bakit pagdating sa paggawa ng bahay at floor plan, mahaba ang pasensya ko…pero pag gumagawa na ng furniture etc. nauubusan ako agad ng pasensya…hindi naman sa ayaw ko sa kurso ko ngayon…ang totoo nga’y pangarap kong maging arkitekto at interior designer balang araw…may passion ako para sa dalawang yan…pero kung titimbangin ng maigi, nasa archi ang puso ko…

…gusto ko nang mag-shift sa archi…pakiramdam ko ay magiging masaya talaga ako kapag naging archi student na ako…dahil alam kong ito ang gusto ko…dahil alam kong sa archii masaya ako…magiging masaya ako…matagal ko ding ipinagdasal kung lilipat na ba ako sa archi…ang totoo’y hanggang ngayon ay ipinagdarasal ko pa rin sya…naalala ko bigla ang mga sabi-sabi noon, “kung saan ka masaya, doon ka…” oo, masaya ako sa archi—alam kong magiging masaya ako…pero Sya? Paano na ang gusto Nya? Ayokong sundin ang gusto ko kahit pa ang ibig sabihin nun ay pagka-neglect ng kaligayahan ko. Mas magiging lubos ang kaligayahan ko kung ang gusto Nya ang susundin ko…subalit hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin malinaw ang kanyang sagot sa akin…heto’t matyaga pa rin akong naghihintay sa sagot niya…

Haay, ayokong buhayin mag-isa ang buhay ko…sa Kanya ko tanging iniaalay ang buhay ko…ang lahat ng may may kinalaman sa kin…ang lahat na “ako”…maski pansariling kaligayahan ko, handa akong isantabi…basta ang kagustuhan Niya lang ang masunod…

Sa ngayon, matiyaga pa rin akong naghihintay sa Kanyang sagot…inaanyayahan ko kayong samahan ako sa pagdarasal…kung nais Nya nga ba akong mag-shift na sa archi…sa papaanong paraan? Aaaah, hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko…bahala na sya…kung anong sabihin Niya, yun ang syang gaagwin ko…pagkat mahal ko Sya…mahal na mahal ko ang Diyos…

----------
**oh, pardon my tagalog...i'm used to writing in english...

i blew it

2005-10-14T23:20:00.001+08:00

Last term, I failed my algebra subject…which is quite unfair by the way…anyway to make the long story short, I felt like I didn’t deserve to fail…I mean, if you’re gonna compare my scores to my other classmates’, it’s fairly okay…I mean, I can really pass with those scores. Well, guess what, I did not…uhuh, sudden turn of events…and then I found out that there’s this block-mate of mine who actually passed. Imagine, most of his scores were really low…come to think of it, out of 4 long quizzes; he only passed one of ‘em. And he got 2.25 (that’s pretty high…1 is our highest) for that? 0h! For crying out loud, that’s so unfair! Talk about biases…(hint: our algebra prof is a self-confessed gay)…actually, it’s not my prof that I detest the most… it’s what he did. Aaaah, don’t let bitterness be your foothold…uhuh, im letting it go now….

when was the last time i blog-ed?

2005-09-30T22:35:00.000+08:00

it's beeeeeeeen weeks...a month i guess since i last blog-ed...MARAMING NANGYARI.that's all i can say for now...i'll post more tomorrow.

2005-08-05T22:07:00.000+08:00

the last few days were hectic, literal! hmm...i must admit it's not easy to be in college...remember i said that "kudos to teachers..." (something like that)...i just found out that a prof of mine is saying bad stuff behind my back. man, can't believe it. anyhoo, you can't avoid things like that...even if it isn'tn your fault. so there...

how's Mapua?

2005-07-25T12:07:00.000+08:00

i'm gonna write in random:

school is fun, but...

physically tiring

course--materials are so costly >> plates--backbreaking

professors--grabe! kudos to sir deo, sir bon, sir aquino, ma'am legaspi, ma'am capulso

facilities--it sucks...no elevators for studs, not much electric fans

lockers--cool...but needs a repaint job (ahem, ar-id students are available)

id system--i like the tutut sound =)

food--not bad...but i'm enjoying the company of point-point (hehe turo-turo) sa great wall of intramuros

classmates--great!we're having fun

sports activity--basketball...and swimming where? in the lagusnilad flood? bball players? hehe too busy studying for their tests...that's why they loose in the games (an old school joke in MIT)...cheerleaders? approachable enough...

orgs--good...tons of org to choose from (join YOUTH ON FIRE...it's beside the chapel lang...approach anyone you see. they're nice people. they don't bite, promise.)

overall?

MAPUA?

the school is really small (too much for the high expectations)...and acads can really be physically tiring and soo demanding...but what's great is having great, great, great professors...who not only want the best for you...but also instill to you that hey, you gotta be one proud "MAPUAN"!

to God be the glory!

2005-07-07T12:33:00.000+08:00

Finally...my parents bought me a laptop na...dadan!toshiba sattelite notebook!

great day!

2005-06-27T11:06:00.000+08:00

great, great day yesterday! rebuke and encouragement to the max = ) whew! great, great quiet time too =) = )

tsk tsk

2005-06-24T18:05:00.000+08:00

I regret buying stonefree's cd.

Why? 'Cos I'm not glorifying Him w/ their songs...

That's just it.

- - snippet

2005-06-24T17:47:00.000+08:00

“A person can stand out with God..........love and live for God..........and stand out for God.”

Formerly “a person can stand out with a smile…smile and stand out.” >> snippet from a popular close-up song

in addition to jose's...

2005-06-24T17:31:00.000+08:00

“One honest voice can be louder than crowd...”

(Elle Woods, Legally Blonde 2)

True to what Jose said...

["Impress the Chicks" by Jose Villanueva ]

People say that being a man is all about the
external things... Most men think that smoking,
drinking, chicks, sex, living on the edge, the fast
lane defines and strengthens their manhood...
They say it strengthens the inner man...

Does that mean I'm less of a man coz I choose not
to do these things??

It takes more courage to say NO to smoking and
drinking in a society where these habits are
considered "NORMAL"... It's just a puff and a shot
away... TOO EASY FOR ME...
It takes more strength, perseverance and discipline
to keep your virginity in a world flooded with lust
and perversion... It takes more to stand for your
GOD given standards than to give in to what the
world offers... Which is SO EASY to do!!!

So who's tough now?? Who are they calling
weak??

Sorry Batman but "IT'S WHO YOU ARE THAT
DEFINES YOU... NOT WHAT YOU DO"

Who you are should define what you do...

I'M A CHILD OF GOD... THAT'S WHO I AM...
AND THATS HOW I'm GONNA LIVE!!!

GOTCHA!!!

Yeah, come to think of it, we live in a world where everything that we do seems to be normal, so normal it doesn’t even concern us anymore if it compromises our morals and beliefs. Aight? We live in place wherein if you don’t do the “right stuff” and “normal-things-to-do,” you become nobody. Fact is you’re not. GOD HAS MADE YOU “SOMEONE” 2000 YEARS AGO.

You know, it don’t matter who you are or what you do. It doesn’t even matter whether people even hears your voice. Someone up there is listening. He hears you. He sees you. He appreciates every little thing that you do.

Yes, it is a challenge to be that “someone” he has created in you to live in a world like we have today. You need not to survive in this world alone. You need not to be someone you’re not. You need not to shy away for what you believe. Speak up. Stand out for your voice. Make a difference. BE WHAT GOD HAS CALLED YOU TO BE…

…Be HIS child.

Question is, “WOULD YOU BE THAT PERSON?”

i had a dream

2005-06-22T12:06:00.000+08:00

There’s a huge gathering of people…young and old…I was on the front (if you’re facing the stage, I’m on your right side). There’s this girl on the left side…she can heal people…I was like fooling around with some girl friends while…then all of a sudden sick people lined up for the other girl. My girl friends left…I stayed…the other girl just started healing…then I prayed and asked for a gift in healing…granted in an instant…I started healing the sick! And I tell you, they’re many…anyhoo, there’s another scene where there was a girl who wanted to get healed…I approached her, and told her, “magaling ka na ah? Ba’t gusto mo pang blah blah blah (can’t remember)”…then there’s this old guy who’s also sick…I came to him, spoke in tongue (upgraded version though…my speaking in tongue today is far more different than how I spoke in my dream)…ayun!

When I woke up…I prayed…”You know, Dad, if it’s really the gift of healing, then let it be…use my hands for your glory.”

Whew!

His answer? Jeremiah 31:7-9

i'm torn between...

2005-06-20T14:06:00.000+08:00

buying an Autocad software and borrowing instead an installer cd...Geesh, i don't wanna use a pirated cd...Autocad will cost me a lot, for sure, if I'm gonna buy the original one. I honestly don't have the money to buy it. But i can't buy a pirated cd!!! No! I'm not gonna compromise-sinning!!!

Whew! Great thing..there's God's provision =)

pray with me

2005-06-17T20:48:00.000+08:00

I'm praying for this.

hale cd

2005-06-17T20:00:00.000+08:00

I bought one yesterday at festi...I also bought stonefree's...Sadly, odyssey doesn't have Mishka Adams' cd yet. Next time, I'm gonna buy M.Y.M.P.'s versions and beyond cd...I'm still waiting for United's next release of their cd =)

dreams

2005-06-17T13:07:00.000+08:00

had a dream again..with a name..."Nikki Parcson"...i remembered that i dreamt of a baby...her name is "mitchell"

He'll provide

2005-06-16T21:38:00.000+08:00

I had to choose between a car and a laptop/notebook. I chose notebook instead. I mean, it’s equally important…but me…? going back and forth to my house (say I might go to dorm during rainy seasons only)? I mean, it's really more important…tapos I'll need AutoCad software for my course…which I will use always, syempre. I really have to be more practical. The car? That shall be a “bonus” blessing. In His time, I’ll have one…but maybe not now. Sighs. My course is really magastos, add to it the costly materials and books that I’ll have to buy…the baon that my parents have to mind (I have classes everyday, literally, as in 7 days a week…non-stop)…plus tuition fee (P27000/28000) pa cos quarterm ang Mapua. I also made a decision awhile ago...my mom told me kasi that if she's gonna buy me a notebook...there won't be any party for my 18th birthday anymore...it's ok...you know, at times like this? I'd rather celebrate my 18-years-of-living-in-this-world quietly with Him...or with my friends. So yeah...i'm cool with it. As long as i have God with me, plus my family and friends? It's more than enough to give me a reason to celebrate. I'm sure, when i turn 18, the angels up there are celebrating...with my Dad smiling at me. I've grown...so yeah...I'm really cool with everything.

Pray with me.

God will provide. And I’m counting on it =)

i'm sad

2005-06-16T21:36:00.000+08:00

Honestly, I used to be excited with the thought that I’ll stay in a dorm/condo/apartment whatever when I go to college. I still have almost a month to enjoy my stay in our house. But…I really, really am sad. Excuse me for being mushy and all that, but I’m really gonna miss my family, my room, yaya and manang, my parents’ secretaries, my home…everything that I’ve grown accustomed to. I’m close to teary eyed now. Sighs…college…so near yet so far…Sighs...

2005-06-16T13:38:00.000+08:00

We’re going to festi later…as if I’ve never been there eh? Hehe It’s just that I’m so bored…and I’m way too excited to see the life outside. Plus we’re gonna watch a movie!!! Ooooh!

kamown!

2005-06-16T12:53:00.000+08:00

i remembered something..."I'm just an ordinary girl with an extraordinary God."

>>still have to come up with more for my livejournal. I'm transferring to LJ (parang lipat-bahay)! Yay!

i've to be productive

2005-06-16T12:47:00.000+08:00

I don’t have classes yet (sa july 11 pa mga kapatid)! It’s like everybody’s in their school na…and me? I’m stuck in our house…trying to figure out the basic Photoshop thingy, trying to recall Powerpoint, waiting patiently for my dear parents to buy my new digi cam, and continuously reminding them that they oughta go “bahay hunting” na for me…Argh, I’ve to be productive, even when I’m just writing.

excerpt

2005-06-16T12:45:00.000+08:00

“The future belongs to the people who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” Kart Racer movie.

a remarkable event

2005-06-16T12:43:00.000+08:00

“I drove last Wednesday without my contacts. It was hard kasi everything was blurred. The only thing that I’m sure of is the road. Si papa katabi ko…he knew I wasn’t wearing my contacts, but he trusted me pa rin. Pa served as my eyes. He’d tell when to slow down and when not to. Same thing goes for Him…he doesn’t exactly gives us a clear picture of what lies ahead. Pero He serves as our eyes…to tell us beforehand if there’s any obstruction and how can we avoid it…he also trusts us kasi He knows we can make it. He’s just there beside us, watching…trusting…confident that we’ll make it thru…this is what happens when we trust God wholeheartedly, walang liko-liko o accidents in life…sis, kindly share this to others. Good night.”

That was my text to diane last week…I just thought I ought to share it =)

today is a special day

2005-06-15T22:41:00.000+08:00

>>Hannah, my inaanak, is officially 2 years old today. I’m praying for a well-guided and blessed life for her.

>>I'm officially the newest tutor in town, este ni Miah lang pala.

>>I'm excited for my new digi cam =)

wrestling please!

2005-06-15T18:19:00.000+08:00

aaaw i miss watching wrestling -- raw and smackdown...pati na rin velocity na minsan ay pinagtyatyagaan ko = (

livejournal

2005-06-15T11:38:00.000+08:00

geesh...im beginning to convince myself that LJ is more user friendly...argh, i wanna change my blog to LJ na yata!problem is i dont know how!nalilito ako!mytch, i need help...or reg...sa LJ ba can i still post my blogger posts?basta parang ililipat lang?i like LJ's background thingy....geesh, lilipat na lang ulit ako sa blogger pag marunong na akong gumawa ng template...i doubt if i'll have much time...this summer is like my last summer...yeah, you heard me right.quarterm kasi ang mapua =( argh, contentment!san ba ako?blogger o livejournal...livejournal o blogger?alin...alin...alin...alin...

a cinderella story

2005-06-14T14:13:00.000+08:00

I’ve just finished watching Cinderella (I think) with Drew Barrymore as the lead cast. Whew! Another heartwarming story...

There was a scene where the prince proposed to her. He was holding her glass shoe… I can’t fully remember what he told her…but it’s something like…he wants to be with the person who owns the other pair of the shoe. She asked how he found it. He said something like blah blah blah…hehe, I really can’t remember. Anyway, I just thought…yeah, couples are like slippers. Picture this; you cannot call a slipper a slipper if it doesn’t come as a pair, right? Syempre, same with couples... For example, to my mom, my dad is her other half. You cannot say there is a relationship between couples if the only person involve is, for example, gay during mornings and gay during nights. That’s one person with dual identity na. Labo nun! There has to be two people involve in a relationship. Di ba hindi ka makakalakad na ang isang paa mo lang ang may tsinelas? Kaya nga pair eh. Ah basta. Yun na yun eh! (I’ll illustrate ng mas maayos pagdating ng panahon)

Time will come when the man that God has chosen for you will sweep you off your feet. He’ll be the person whom God has put his effort to mold into the kind of person that He knows you’ll love dearly…the person he knows you’ll grow old with…a man who will accept you and love you no matter who you are. He’ll be the man that will be with you, just like Him, at all times.

You know, God has already thought of the best, the almost perfect, the right man for you 2000 years ago. Unbelievable eh? Believe. You do not have to spend your lifetime looking for him—for love. He has already done that. The searching is finished...I repeat...the work is done. All He asks you to do is to wait. Just wait. Your man will come, at the right time, at the right place, and at the right circumstance.

And that’s a promise from Him.

Cinderella was a woman of simplicity. She was also courageous…courageous enough to tell the truth to the prince that she’s nothing but a peasant; even if it means sacrificing the love that she has for the prince. What love they had was pure, sincere, unyielding and true. At the end, she had the biggest reward…the prince as his husband.

random thoughts

2005-06-14T08:50:00.000+08:00

I just saw a vid – mandy by mandy and randy. Kuleet!

Miah (my 7-year-old bro) just told me na nahawa sya sa akin ng stomach ache…hehe

I’m beginning to like jazz because of Mishka Adams…she’s so good! She’s half Filipina, half British. Check her out! I’m gonna buy her album soon = )

I changed my template awhile ago…sometimes, it can be boring…hmm, soon I’ll be able to make my own template. I still have to learn how = )

I like taking pictures – kahit ano, ayos!

Bakit hanggang ngayon dial up pa rin kami? Geesh, we already applied for a PLDT Plan 440 (unlimited access=wantosawang download ng songs)…still needs follow up

Finally, my parents agreed that they’re gonna look for a dorm/condo/apartment/whatever for me…so transpo to and from Mapua wouldn’t be that hard…it’s for rainy season lang. Maho-homesick ako ng sobra pag nalayo ako ng matagal sa pamilya ko

Nabubulol na ako magsalita ng tagalog minsan…naba-bali-baliktad ko ang mga words minsan

Bridesmaid ako last Saturday! I didn’t do anything...pa-chummy-chummy lang =)

Question: napapanis ba ang chocolate?

read on

2005-06-14T08:45:00.000+08:00

Who Am I?

I often stop, thinking of a question which is composed of only six letters –Who Am I? -- It’s really a short question to ask, but it is also the hardest one to answer, isn’t it? Let me ask that same question to you, do you know who you truly are? Are you sure that you are who you think and see you are? --Well, think again!!!

It’s not because of who we are, but of what Jesus has done. It’s not because of what we’ve done, but of who Jesus really was. We are who we are, for we are created through love and saved because of God’s enduring love for each one of us. Nothing will ever change that –not your present circumstances, and not even your biggest problems! We don’t have to perform or strive to be someone we are not. God doesn’t want us to conform to the world; all He wants us to do is to rest in our own true self. We just have to be what God has made us to be --which is to be like Him, since He has created us in His own likeness. Often we feel sick and tired of doing things that does not satisfy us, and the reason behind it is that we exert a lot of effort on things that God doesn’t want us to pay much attention to. We became so preoccupied on our ambitions –and at the end of the day we realized that there is not enough time left for us to serve Him because we have wasted it on building worthless and temporary possessions. Why can’t we give time for someone who has devoted His lifetime for loving us? What’s holding us back from serving Him, who has sacrificed His only son to die and pay for the price of our sins?

We often forget to ask for God’s presence & go chase Him, because we are so used to seeing God to be the one chasing us. We only notice Him when we fall down and left alone, abandoned by the people whom we trust most. We often mistake God’s love for a human kind of love. God’s love does not fail, it is faithful and everlasting! He sees beyond our thoughts, our hopes and our desires because He has faithfully fixed His eyes upon us. So why can’t we fix our eyes on Him? Going back to the question---Who am I??? Thinking about it, I asked myself if that is a selfish question to ask, then I realized that it’s not, because it’s not about me anymore, it’s not about who I am, --it is all about God, because I am all about God!!!

Amen to that Jessey! Very well said = )

YOU

2005-06-13T20:58:00.000+08:00

You smile whenever we please you
You see victory behind our mistakes
You hurt with us…smile with us…and has always been with us
You find love even at the smallest things that we do for You
You…of all Greatness…eternally loves us even if we didn’t ask you to
You’re there…just there…chillaxing…watching us grow

almost!

2005-06-13T19:37:00.000+08:00

I almost had a brand new Canon Ixus i5 with a free Darth Vader mp3 player last Friday…subalit hindi natuloy. Why? Uh, my mom’s credit card didn’t work. But it’s okay = ) my mom (including her personal secretary) promised me that she’s gonna buy me one on June 26. Wuhooo! Well, He’s just telling me to wait.

Actually, there weren’t any plans that my parent’s will buy me a new digi cam although I’ve been asking them to buy one. I just asked my dad to accompany me to the appliance center cos I want him to see the digi cam that I want. So he said okay…Ayun! Things just fell into places. I prayed, secretly laid hands [every Christian's secret weapon =)] on the cam, asking God to convince (I’m not sure if I used the right word--hehe) my mom to buy that cam. Then that’s it. My mom came, my dad and I told her about the digi cam, and she just agreed to buy it. Fabulous!

Body Trivia

2005-06-07T15:29:00.000+08:00

Body Trivia
By: Tina Juan

I have always been fascinated with the human body and how it works. So I just had to buy “The Odd Body” by Dr. Stephen Juan (no relation) when I stumbled across it in a bookstore last year.

Juan, a behavioral scientist, anthropologist, and professor at the University of Sydney, answers more than just the usual questions about the body. His book is about the “weird” stuff like why can’t I tickle myself, why do we yawn, or why do we blush.

He also provides bizarre information about how headhunters shrink heads, how mummies are made, and what turned Michael Jackson’s skin white.

His book is filled with fascinating trivia. Here is a small sampling of interesting facts about your body.

Brain
A single human brain generates more electrical impulses in one day than all the telephones in the world.

If you could harness the power used by your brain, you could power a ten-watt light bulb

When we touch something, we send a message to our brain at 124 miles an hour.

The average human brain has about one hundred billion nerve cells.

Women’s brains are smaller than men’s brains by an average of 12 percent.

On an average day, the human brain produces seventy thousand thoughts.

Eyes, nose, ears, and mouth.
True black eyes are not known in humans. Eye color varies from very light blue to very dark brown.

The human eye is capable of differentiating ten million colors.

One-quarter of the human brain is used to control the eyes.

It is impossible to keep your eyes open while sneezing.

Of the five senses, the one that is less sharp after you eat too much is hearing.

Smell is the sense that is most closely linked to memory.

The average life span of the human taste bud is seven to ten days. By age sixty, most people will have lost half their taste buds.

The average talker sprays about three hundred microscopic saliva droplets a minute. This is about two and a half droplets per word.

A sneeze can exceed a speed of one hundred miles an hour.

When you laugh, you expel short bursts of air up to seventy miles an hour.

Our nose and ears never stop growing but our eyes stay the same size from infancy.

The sound of a snore can be as loud as a pneumatic drill.

The average mouth produces 1.8 pints (3.6 cups) of saliva per day.

Skin, hair, and nails.
Your belly button increases and decreases in size as you gain or lose weight.

By the age of seventy, the average person will have shed 105 pounds of skin.

If you ate too many carrots, you would actually turn orange.

In one square inch of your hand you have nine feet of blood vessels, six hundred pain sensors, nine thousand nerve endings, thirty-six heat sensors, ad seventy-six pressure sensors.

The length of the finger dictates how fast the fingernail grows, so the nail on your middle finger grows the fastest. The nail on the thumb grows slowest.

Fingernails grow almost four times faster than toenails.

Hair grows fastest in the morning than at any other time of the day.

The average human hair can support nearly four and a half pounds of weight. If a human hair were as thick as a nylon rope, it could support a train engine.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

Men lose about forty hairs a day. Women lose about seventy hairs a day.

Skeleton, bones, and teeth.
Tooth enamel is the hardest substance manufactured by the human body.

The most sensitive finger is the index finger.

The femur or thighbone is the strongest bone.

The hardest bone is the jawbone.

The knee is the most easily injured joint. Babies are born without kneecaps. Kneecaps don’t appear until the child reaches two to six years of age.

The length from your wrist to your elbow is the same as the length of your foot.

Heart, liver, and other organs.
The average adult has between forty billion and fifty billion fat cells.

If laid out in a straight line, the average adult’s circulatory system would be nearly sixty thousand miles long – enough to circle the earth two and a half times.

It takes sixty seconds for the blood to make one complete circuit of the body.

The human heart beats about 70 times a minute. That’s about three billion times in an average lifetime. The heart creates enough pressure when it pumps blood out of the body to squirt blood thirty feet. It can pump forty million gallons of blood in a lifetime.

The liver is the largest gland in the body. It is also the largest of the body’s internal organs.

The right lung takes in more air than the left lung. That’s because to make room for the heart, the left lung is smaller than the right lung.

Every second, the body’s bone marrow creates three million blood cells. During that same second, it destroys the same number.

The stomach produces a new layer of mucus every two weeks so that stomach acid will not devour the stomach lining. Stomach acid is strong enough to dissolve a nail.

Blood is thicker than fresh water but about the same thickness as seawater.

If you took all the urine the world produces in one day, it would take a full twenty minutes to flow over Niagara Falls.

The daily heat output of the average person would boil eight gallons of freezing water.

My Favorite.
My favorite body trivia from Juan’s book is “ If you could remove all the spaces from the atoms that make up your body, you would be small enough to pass through the eye of a needle.” Kind of mind-blowing, isn’t it?

source: inquirer newspaper

2005-06-06T11:30:00.000+08:00

I’ve been having weird dreams lately…met Isabel, Nina (not YOF's Nina) and Vicky in my dreams…I remember clearly how they look like…side view nga lang.

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I had my check-up lat Saturday...answered prayer! My cornea is healthy again (last check up kasi sabi ni doc may sugat daw), there's a new prob with my...uh, not necessarily a prob, I really dunno what to call it, basta its level is acceptable pa. I’ll have my check up again next month...I doubt if I can make it in Healthway again...so I’ll have to have my check up in Asian hospital instead...as if I know how to commute.

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Hmm naalala ko lang…I saw Seattle’s best in SM Manila…man, that mall is super near my school…walking distance lang!!! haha!!! Now, I’ve found a place where I can have my quiet time. Yeah!

2005-06-06T11:18:00.000+08:00

so many people would never understand things people say unless they had to listen to it as important as eating. people do not want to listen or even read things that contrast to their way of life.thus, so many people never fully understand what they miss, specially those that are truly essential to daily living. people nowadays change their attention focus rapidly that their minds do not comprehend to what they heard or seen unless they want to. people live by what they want, by their rules, and even if you can say that you follow regulations, there would be one single time or more that you wished things would go your way and eventually leading to disobedience.

paul warned timothy about the coming time when people will just listen to what they want to hear. thay would spend more time listening to fallacies than being broken by the truth. there will come a time that people would be so stubborn, they miss the point of their existence. it would be so gruelling to let others understand what the real thing is. and it is a sad thought.

well, i am not preaching here. we tend to say things as such because we become used to it but we never see what is the true essence of what people say. we all feel an empty sensation inside us but seemingly, only a few people seem to fully keep up and overcome it.

well, they do not overcome it.

Jesus, overcomes it for them.

you see, the reason why people live an empty life is because they miss their target of why they were created for. people who cannot find the reason for living stop seeking for it. they then live stagnant, ordinary, empty, hollow, meaningless lives.

unless Christ lives in you
and you consider yourself dead to sin and all its vicious ways
and Jesus lives and uses you for His purposes
the reason which you were created for.

think about it and end a meaningless life.

>>c'mon benj!

i lost it

2005-06-05T14:06:00.000+08:00

I used to have this cd-rw that has:

1) all my poems (almost 200 of ‘em)
2) songs that I wrote -- most of them, I wrote for songwriting contests in our school
3) short stories -- there was even one story that lasted for 12 pages, “huling pinta”
4) a typewritten copy of my real father’s letter to my mom -- which dated way back on year 1989...he died when i was still 3 i guess...and man, i was born on 1987...see how important that letter is to me?

...everything that was me was stored in that cd-rw. I wrote every inch of me with the comfort of my ever trustworthy Microsoft Word.

Writing helped me expressed whatever I’m feeling at that certain moment. And then on one fateful day, I opened my cd-rw and found nothing; all files got corrupted. Ewan, all I know…I was hurting, really. I knew at that very moment there was no possibility of recovering those files. I prayed hard, expecting, believing that somehow, those files would still be recovered. But I lost them. Really lost them. And I couldn’t do anything about it! I know it sounds silly for me to hold on to a cd (haller nga naman di ba!), but that cd-rw was everything of me—before He took His place in my heart. Right now, I no longer look back at that fateful incident with sadness…I know now…for sure, He will enable me to write better. That’s a promise I'm claiming from Him.

ROUTE 70

2005-06-03T17:40:00.000+08:00

I saw a life sitting down the road
An unheard cry filled the street
He was quiet, not wanting to disturb anyone
Yet he managed to have his heart heard

I saw him welcome filth as if it’s bread
And considered pests as if they’re his friends
The tree above him served as his home
The rusty gates promised him security

His mother slept peacefully amidst the dirt
He was quiet, eyes so innocent
He looked at his surroundings
And became a silent witness of the world

He watched the busy streets keenly
Smiled, chuckled, then regained his position
He is young, actually still ignorant of what he sees
For he is only a kid at age two

Our eyes met, he must’ve wondered why I’m looking at him
Innocently, he smiled at me
I smiled back, but my heart lied
I actually am close to tears

I wanted to ask him if this is the life that he’d want to live
But he won’t understand me, not now, not yet…
For awhile he is welcoming me to his route 70
Maybe...just maybe--to his very own road of melancholy.

---------------------------------
**why route 70?cos in the alphabet, if you'll add up the numerical equivalent (if that's how i may call it) of all the letters of r-e-a-l-i-t-y, it'll sum to 70...

ana and the king

2005-05-31T12:23:00.000+08:00

I watched Ana and the King again yesterday…I still get the same feeling “aaaw…and sana…and how come…” at the ending…but something struck me…

(at the latter part of the movie)

King: why do you have to come back?

Ana: because I can’t imagine Siam without you

Then I changed the lines…what if…

Us (asking God): why do I have to live?

God: because I can’t imagine the world without you

*sniff* oh, He loves us so much.

oo nga ano!?

2005-05-31T12:17:00.000+08:00

I just realized I had the best news yesterday!

I txted my high school math teacher yesterday and told her about me wanting to start a small group in AGS. I’m not gonna go into details na lang…basta, the good thing about it is that my teacher, who happens to know everything that goes on in my high school…told me that she’ll check if there’s an issue nga. I’ve been praying for this for weeks na…He’s opening a door for me, I can see it =)

because GOD is love

2005-05-30T12:34:00.000+08:00

"...because God is love”

Kim and I talked awhile ago…she told me stuff like about this guy whom she’s very close with…who’s only 12, but does not look, and acts, and thinks like one. That they talk oftentimes, and would find their topic turned into like this:

Kim: (jokes about her ultimate crush) lam mo yun, kumbaga sa crush tree ko, sya yung pinaka talaga

Him: (whose name shall not be mentioned) eh ba’t naghahanap ka pa ng iba? Eh andito naman ako…alam mong after 6 years, isa sa inyo ni -------- ang liligawan ko.

Me: siobs…I just thought…when we fall in love…when we love, is age really a requirement?

…I mean, you know the irony of the question, “Have you ever fallen in love?” Most of the time kasi, when you’re asked with that question, people always refer to their love to the opposite sex… What others, rather we, fail to realize is that you don’t love only when you’ve found your only “one…” When in fact, even before your parents or your mom had you, God has already loved you…and has always been demonstrating it to you. He first loved us, that’s a fact. God enables you to love, because He is love, that’s another fact. He enables you to love the people around you most especially your parents. Believe me, He does!

Come to think of it, how can you even love the opposite sex if you don’t even know what love really is. What is it nga ba? Or shall we ask, who it is nga ba? Isn’t it God? It is God!

Love may come in many forms. But no matter what form or what you call it, it’s still love. And only God is the source of love, the only Person that you should first love, and not anybody else. Others follow…like your family, yourself and your friends, and then the person that He has appointed for you.

Age isn’t actually a pre-requisite for us to love. It’s the “relationship…” You must have a relationship with Him first…everything else will automatically follow.

all for love - united

2005-05-29T23:02:00.000+08:00

all for love a Father gave
for only love could make a way
all for love the heavens cried
for love was crucified

oh how many times have i broken your heart?
but still you forgive
if only i'd ask
oh how many times have you heard me pray,
"draw near to me"?

everything i need is you
my beginning, my forever
everything i need is you

let me sing all for love
i will join the angels' song
ever holy is the Lord
King of glory, King of all

all for love a Savior prayed,
"Abba, Father, have your way
though they know not what they do
let the cross draw man to you."

**this song never failed to remind me how God loves us so much...so much He risked his very own Son...His most loved Son for us...we, humans, who never knew what love really is until He made it known to us through the Bible that He is love...that God is love.

my right eye needs rest

2005-05-29T10:54:00.000+08:00

so much to write/blog about...but my right eye is suffering from a certain illness (dunno how or what to call it pa)...it's sore...reddish...and mahapdi...will have a check-up tomorrow at Healthway with Dra. Catindig. *sighs*

so the least thing that i can do for it is to give my right eye some rest...and that includes my not-using-my-computer-for-the-meantime = (

oooh, i'm so excited

2005-05-25T22:10:00.000+08:00

tomorrow's CAMPUS HARVEST na!

today was a blast!

2005-05-25T21:53:00.000+08:00

A friend of my mom is a member in The Country Club at Tagaytay Highlands. She was generous enough to be a sponsor for us, and allow us to use every privilege that she has. Lupit! It was really, really kind of her to lend us that ‘privilege.’ Imagine, you have to pay P1.5M for your membership (I dunno if it’s inclusive with a unit na there), but it’s still a huge amount of money, di ba? Hmm…we ate lunch at Toscana’s. Stroll to the max kami…of course, pictures. I mean hello? Not everybody can enter that country club; it’s for ‘members only.’ So there…naalala ko sinabi nung secretary ng mom ko…”hayaan mo na, minsan lang tayo maging mayaman.” It may be true. We’re not that rich naman talaga eh. But I thought…”no, WE are rich! I am rich. Who’s the source of all riches? It’s God. I may be poor here…in my temporary life. But I’m definitely rich because of Him.” Overall, the place is a must-see…definitely unforgettable. I cannot put into words His wonderful creation, chillaxing (chill/relax) talaga! He’s so great! Lam mo yun…no wonder it’s costly to be there…cos no amount of money can ever amount to the beauty of nature that God has created, really.

2005-05-24T19:59:00.000+08:00

my youngest bro, miah, asked me a question..."ate, nakakain ba ang balat ng manga?"

hehehehehehe =)

naalala ko lang

2005-05-24T11:39:00.000+08:00

Diane called yesterday…

Diane: sis, I need help sa blog ko! Pano ba yung blah, blah, blah, blah, di pa ako naliligo…
Me: sis, you have the nerve to talk to me nang di pa naliligo?
Diane: oo
Me: Pambihira!

*both laughed*

Natutuwa lang ako…ibang klase kasi si Lord º

--------------------

I read diane’s 2^nd entry sa blog nya…Pang-tabloid ang dating ng title!

Eto: Conversations with Gay Ayad!!!

Hap naman!

excerpt...

2005-05-24T10:34:00.000+08:00

“…dahil kung di ka masasaktan, di mo makikita ang saya”
- - excerpt from the movie: Pangako, ikaw lang

Same thing goes for us…if we don’t suffer, if we don’t experience hardships, if we don’t have struggles in our everyday life…wouldn’t we find joy? I mean, in a sense of feeling...rather havin' that certain joy cos you passed His test…that you went through it victoriously…and that when you look back…you just smile, and be thankful to Him.

I thank God for these people...

2005-05-23T20:46:00.000+08:00

Kim – ang “siobs” ko…we’ve known each other since pre-elem days…things just fell into right places. That’s it…I dunno how to give further details na…

Shayne – our dearest OG leader who never fails to encourage us whenever we’re feeling down…who has always been there for us (except for wee hours kasi kami lang ni diane ang buhay nun)…and for serving as an example to us…“Shayne mode” din

Jessey – for setting an example lalo na sa “memory verse”…di ba, sis? She’s so contagious (except sa mga household chores, di kami nahawa nina diane eh). Galing din mag-bake!

Neris – my ever best friend who’s always on the go, syempre for Him…who’s always on fire for Him…and who has been a silent witness to my life, then and now

Diane – no comment. Just kidding! Um, my [sorta] official ka-telebabad…phone calls kahit wee hours na (exaggerated na)…our phone calls has always been glorify-our-Father kind of conversation (peram ng line, sis). It’s really great!

Pearl – pearly…bebe ng OG…I’m thankful that He’s extraordinarily moving in her life…I can see the growth talaga.

Abba – it’s like everybody in AGS who knows us...actually knows that we’re best friends hehe…we’ve been through ‘storms,’ laugh trips, iyakan blues atbp. At kulang na lang sa bahay ko sya tumira! Need I say more? She’s just one of the best people that I know!

Rizzie – bebe din…still has to know her more…but I’m praying that she continue her walk with Him

Mytch – for always listening to me…and for sharing her life to me

Alvin – “bro”…ang aking kapatid-slash-kuya-na-rin…truly, a man of God

Alaine – I only get to see her after YOF = (

Ericka – I so, so, so miss this person. ‘Ope you keep your fire burning for Him!

As for the others who touched my life then, way back when the old me was still alive…Thank you.

more to come = )

matthew 5.8

2005-05-23T16:38:00.000+08:00

NIV “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.”

The Message//Remix “You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world."

Lord...

WALA NA BANG HALAGA?

2005-05-23T14:11:00.000+08:00

Uulan na naman
Marahil nagtatampo ang langit
Nagtatanong kung bakit…
Bakit? Bakit nagkakagayun ang mundo?

Yumuko ang mga puno…
May bahid ng lungkot na umawit ang mga daho’t bulaklak
Samantala’y nangalit ang kulog at ang kidlat
Nagbabadyang luluha na naman ang langit…

Siguro nga’y nagluluksa ito…
Tuloy isang tahimik na pagdaramdam ang pinakawalan ng mga ulap--
Pumapatak na naman ang mga luha nito sa ating mga puso
Kumakatok, nakikiusap, nagmamakaawang papasukin ang Panginoon

Ngunit gaya ng lakas ng kulog at kidlat
Tuluyan na nga yatang nabingi ang mga nilikha
Pinagsarha’t pinagmalupitan Sya, sya na may likha ng lahat
Wala na bang halaga sa atin ang kanyang mga ginawa?

meet Celso delos Angeles

2005-05-23T12:06:00.000+08:00

I would guess most of you must've heard of his name already (ya know, his name was/is linked to Regine Tolentino and stuff)...well, it just so happens that he's the big boss of my parents...and they've set up a meeting already on wednesday or thursday ata. I'm dead nervous...aside sa magiging meeting, my dad's gonna ask him a new car kasi...and if in case he agrees to give us a new car, then it only means one thing: i'm gonna have my car na! By faith, i'm gonna have one!!

haba ng intro ko noh?

If you're gonna ask me if the rumors are true...I dunno. I have no right to judge nor to pry on him. He's a nice person...I've already met him once. hehe Aside from the fact that he's filthy rich, there weren't any trace of air or of any sort when I met him...plus he's been nice to my parents, undeniably trusts and believes in them...and for me, it's more than enough to give me a reason to believe in him...in his credibility...in who He is. Btw, he's also generous...sa mga kwento pa lang ng parents ko =) so, if in case....just in case...you think those rumors that you hear on tv, read on the newspapers are true...think again...nobody know's the truth...or what really happened between the two of them ni Regine T. Only God knows....only He knows everything.

[belated] happy birthday diane!

2005-05-19T21:55:00.000+08:00

Sis, i had a great time (phone call)...most especially talking about God...everything! His wonders, His grace, ooh! Everything talaga. Our phone call was one of the longest calls that i had since, hmmm...sorta record breaking na ang end of phone call at 5 am...hehe hmm, did we start at 10 something with shayne? or is it 11? Anyway, i had fun...lalo na sa Super Bowl kanina. C'mon mighty!

>>i'm dead tired. gtg!

para sa'yo 'to siobs!

2005-05-18T21:49:00.000+08:00

I know…I know what you’re going through right now. I’ve been there. I know how it feels…pressure. Whew! Hassle di ba? In a short span of a time, you will have to decide for something…something huge... something you’ve never done before, or even thought of. Something you will be held responsible for the rest of your life. Be rest assured that you’re not alone holding that responsibility, He is with you, and will always be. He is more than glad to help you decide, to share your struggles and fears, in everything! In 1 Peter 5:7, it said “cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you.” One more, Jeremiah 17:7, “but blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him.” So there…siobs, I’m with you. Do remember that. Siobs, kaya mo yan! Just…Just be confident in his Word. I’m praying for wisdom for you. Kaya mo yan…kayang-kaya!

THE MAN ON THE CROSS

2005-05-18T18:55:00.000+08:00

I walk the road of unknown
I wonder where my feet would bring me to
I wander through the roads
But I couldn’t find my way back home

I spoke but I didn’t hear my voice
I cried but there weren’t any tears
I tried to laugh but there weren’t any joy
I wanted love yet no one offered it to me

And then I looked at the clouds
I don’t know how it calmed my heart
I saw the trees, the birds, everything that has life
Then I smiled and thanked whoever provides for them

I looked at the clouds again…
And saw how beautiful it was
And then I saw a Man on the cross…
I didn’t know that You loved me that much.

i got lost yesterday

2005-05-17T09:30:00.000+08:00

kahapon i had an interview with Mapua's guidance counselor. oooh, it was so hot! tapos i got lost pa nung pauwi na. pero i'm ok =)

finally!

2005-05-17T09:20:00.000+08:00

my parents finally allowed me to:

1) attend Campus Harvest

2) attend LG at Festi

3) attend Victory Weekend...the continuation

and last...

my left eye is back to normal.no more red veins thingy around my cornea...

Praise God!!!

>>we're off to quezon province at 11 am...i'm gonna drive again.

*mytchy (actually mytch)

2005-05-16T01:19:00.000+08:00

ooh, talked to mytch awhile ago...sis, i had a great time sharin my God-changed life to you. And thank you, Lord, for assuring me...that whew! I will attend Campus Harvest. For sure! Lord, you know what i'm going through right now...you know i've been praying for that for days na...you also know triple time na ang Enemy sa akin...I believe Lord...and I am honestly praying for my parents' change of hearts. I believe, in Your time, they would come to understand the things that I do...that they aren't for me, but for You alone. I believe you're not asking a mere part of our time (that they don't understand yet). You actually are asking our TIME.

get out of your comfort zones!

2005-05-16T01:13:00.000+08:00

I have this fetish for pens whose point (tama ba yun?) is .5 as in…and oh, for some reasons I couldn’t write my YOF notes in my new YOF notebook cos I don’t have a .5 pen yet. But you know what…God told me, “get out of your comfort zones. I’m not telling you to settle for the less…But don’t worry…I’ll give you something better.” And guess what, I have my new pen na (ooh, after two weeks ng pagtitiis)!!! At .5 sya!!! Ooooh I’m so happy (and so babaw). I believe He always gives to us what He thinks is best. He’s not a mediocre-type-of-Person. He definitely doesn’t settle for the less. But then what happened to me teaches about patience, and being faithful…that there’s something in store for you. And it’s not just the best. It’s great!!!

Another incident about “getting out of my comfort zones”…after teaching at JKC, I sat at the center part of VCF, 5^th row. It was something unusual for me cos usually I sit at the right side. I believe…when you praise God, when you actually worship God…there’s no room for comfort zones anymore. Cos it’s not about how you feel…c’mon would your seat even actually make you feel good (physically, I guess)? Of course not! Can that seat save you from eternal damnation? No, but God can! And He sent Jesus for us. Did Jesus think of His comfort zones then? No, he didn’t. He could have told the angels, “oh, make those soldiers suffer…” or “I’m not gonna die for these people. Who are they anyway? Why waste my time on them? And besides, I’m not comfortable with the idea of dying for someone I don’t even know.” He could’ve done something to spare his self from dying on that cross. He actually can…But the good news is He did not. And I believe God is challenging each and every one of us to get out of our comfort zones…and follow His example on the cross. Not just today, but be it on every walk of our life.

who wants to have fun?

2005-05-14T23:24:00.000+08:00

>>>It was my mom’s birthday yesterday…she treated us (my dad and my two younger siblings) and the rest of my ‘family’ (as in with tita’s and younger cousins) at Enchanted Kingdom. There were like 21 of us…and oh, she paid the entrance fee for the entire family (21 tickets in all, includung her). As in. It was fun…I had a chance hanging out with my tita’s and my cousins…and my lolo and lola, of course.hehe

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You know… when you go to amusement parks, you have to pay just to have fun…but guess what; Someone has already paid the price for you...us to have ‘fun’. And I’m not talking about worldly fun…or happiness. But a happiness that lasts [and will last] for eternity. And there’s only one person who can give that…and that’s Jesus. There’s no need for you to die on the cross. He already did. Have fun…with Him. Enjoy an intimate fellowship with Him. And you’ll never regret it.

PERFECT LOVE

2005-05-14T08:15:00.000+08:00

The moon lay still in the night
Unraveled by the shining stars
She wept and thought of the sun
How can they not be together as one?

She wept, and wept, and wept
She couldn’t fathom why the sun has to set
For her to rise up at night once more
Lest she might not see her sun yet again

The sun was all she wept for
Grievance took her heart—
Sent to the galaxy afar
Distant and blue – uncertain where to go

And so the moon asked the Mighty Man
“Oh, why? Why can’t I be with my sun?”
The Man smiled
And tears began to fall from His eyes

“Moon, moon, haven’t you understand?
You two were set apart –
To forever live legacies of love
Imperfect yet perfect, unseen yet real

You two must be distant
For the stars to spread the word
That I have made your love imperfect
For all my creations to see...

I, the Creator, am the only perfect love”
He finally said.

And so the moon stopped weeping
She shined brighter than before
For she finally understood
That their love was perfected through imperfections

The Man left without a word
The moon wanted to thank Him though…
But He hoped otherwise
His beloved ‘creations’ would also feel His perfect love.

i've [really] changed

2005-05-11T09:27:00.000+08:00

I think those are the best words that could define me now. I’ve really changed because of Him. My way of thinking changed, my actions, my thoughts, everything about me, literally or otherwise. I dunno how to explain it…I guess this is the part where I’m speechless hehe Pero seriously, I’ve really changed. I can see it…I can feel it. Argh! Unexplainable talaga. But I’m really, really happy with my current disposition. Thank you, Lord =)